Rifle Chic

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

This Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States has been lately an active topic of discussion by thinking Americans and otherwise. We Americans do collectively bear arms a lot; but some of us more so than others. [A disclosure FWIW: I don't have any. I'll let the well-regulated militia do it for me.]

However, it is undeniable that so often gun-toting fellow Americans accompany their right to bear arms while offering deplorable fashion statements. Let's face it: no one looks cool while wearing non-military camouflage or orange. Orange is decidedly NOT the new black; so don't look for that Little Orange Dress for those formal occasions.

However, Belinda Cameron, New York fashion designer, was searching the mean streets of Nashville when she saw a young fashionista wearing black but with the accompaniment of a large accessory:

Her name was Lila. Well, Belinda was discerning enough to overlook her visible bra straps and see that this young fashion-conscious lady was being a possible harbinger of a new style in fashion: Rifle Chic! So she obtained Lila's mobile number, and hurried back to her design board and sketched out a few possible designs. She thought out loud: "Dark tube tops with patriotic motifs . . . . hip-hugging jeans . . . . appliqué navel jewel . . . . assault rifle or perhaps AK-47 . . . . purse with silver studs . . . . Or maybe a red miniskirt, a holster with a .22 caliber pistol . . . . A farm girl look with accessory .22 rifle . . . .Maybe with a matching rhinestone denim jacket . . . . I am so on a roll!"

Her minions gathered around the board and were astounded by Belinda Cameron's latest coup! This was a new launchable fashion trend that would be quickly adopted in flyover country as well!

Belinda contacted Lila, who was persuaded to learn the craft of being a model; no, a supermodel! Well, she had to manage 5-inch heels, learn to like a strapless bra, and refrain from barbecue, onion rings, and barbecue. Yes, Lila liked to flaunt her navel despite having a muffin top!

There was a fly in the ointment: New York City was one of those places that didn't allow for open carrying of firearms, so she had to make do with dummy rifles during New York Fashion Week. Still, the hip crowd did recognize this fashion statement for what it was. It was the new sensation of the season; and In Style, Elle, and Vogue featured Lila and other Cameron models on the cover wearing the new look.

It made an exceptional hit in other fashion-conscious places: Boston, Indianapolis, Dallas, Little Rock, Los Angeles, and East St. Louis. 

Surprisingly, the N.R.A. and the routine gun nuts, now renamed gun aficionados, were unhappy. They did not like the prissy and self-congratulatory Noo Yawk fashion crowd moving into their territory. And, somehow, your rifle looks quite a bit less badass if models also accessorize with one!

Still, Belinda and Lila was on a roll: What next, the sacred swimsuit issue? Wait for after the Super Bowl to see!