Philosophers, in their unbridled speculation, have worked out a taxonony of kisses. Who says philosophy is not practical?
This is a kiss performed using techniques gained solely from theoretical speculation untainted by any experiential data by one who feels that the latter is irrelevant anyway.
This is a particularly well-planned and coordinated movement: "I think, therefore, I aim." In general, a kiss does not count as Cartesian unless it is applied with enough force to remove all doubt that one has been kissed. (cf. Polar kiss, a more well-rounded movement involving greater nose-to-nose contact, but colder overall.)
This is one in which you kiss everywhere, enacting a deconstruction of the binary lip/non-lip.
This is a kiss given by someone who does not kiss.
This is an unsatisfying kiss with one's sibling.
This is a kiss in which you are really trying to kiss your mother.
This is a dialiptical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antithikiss, forming a synthekiss.
This is a kiss that, eschewing inferior "phenomenal" contact, is performed entirely on the superior "noumenal" plane; though you don't actually feel it at all, you are, nonetheless, free to declare it the best kiss you've ever given or received.
This is one in which whoever does not kiss you only makes you stronger.
This is a kiss in which you notice that he used Axe, and he has wandering hands.
This is a formal kiss in which each lip and tongue movement is rigorously and completely defined, even though it ends up seeming incomplete somehow.
This is really a Platonic kiss, but it's claimed to be the Socratic technique so it'll sound more authoritative; however, compared to most strictly Platonic kisses, Socratic kisses wander around a lot more and cover more ground.
A kiss is a kiss is a kiss.
Subjective idealism kiss
This is a kiss that is best in the imagination.
The important thing about this type of kiss is that it refers only to the symbol (our internal mental representation we associate with the experience of the kiss--which must necessarily also be differentiated from the act itself for obvious reasons and which need not be by any means the same or even similar for the different people experiencing the act) rather than the act itself and, as sucience thereof based merely on our manipulation of the symbology therefore.
This is a kiss in which your lips approach, closer and closer, but never actually touch.
3755 - Friday jokes
1 hour ago