Friday, May 1, 2015

Posing for Horndog Magazine

When someone is a bored and cash-needy female grad student some temptations are very hard to resist. No, not a liasion with a Dean, but that's a good try. No, in this case Horndog magazine was doing a photoshoot on "The Girls of the Lower South Conference," and Madison considered that she looked great in a bikini body and flaunted it once in a Miss Bikini Contest in a Gulf Coast dive once. She rather enjoyed the experience, and the reinforcement of winning Second Place. Oh well, coming in Place is better than coming in Show or being in the rest of the field in a filly claiming race. [I should mention that Madison was also a fan of horse racing, being a carrier of a Kentucky driver's license.]

So Madison sent in a head shot through e-mail, and was invited to a photoshoot. This was way, way back in February, and Madison was one of the few aspiring models from Middle Georgia University who had not put on a few wintry pounds when the selection process was taking place. You know Georgia girls like their hush puppies! As a matter of fact, they even tried to get her to pose topfree, but she settled for a swimsuit pose! She wasn't that daring.

Anyway, soon enough (but not for Madison) the September issue of Horndog magazine came out and the boys of the Lower South Conference purchased their copies in droves. And some of them said, "OMFG, is that one of the teaching assistants of the Biology Department?" In fact, a few scattered male professors also bought copies, except for those in English. They were not about to purchase a magazine with a shocking use of slang manifested in its title!

Anyway, the Chair of the Biology Department was surprised to find that Madison's laboratory sections closed out early in registration for reasons that he could not comprehend. Furthermore, 90% of her students were male! "Oh well," the Chairman thought. "She is a pretty young ingenue and would be likely to attract the boys. Maybe I should make her my T.A. My lecture sections have been underenrolled and I need the boost to do well on my merit factor assessment."

However, he could not understand why a few spontaneous requests for Madison to teach the laboratory sections for Human Anatomy. Sometimes university administrators are out of touch with reality, but sometimes undergraduates just have no sense! He also could not understand when three universities offered her an assistant professorship. She was expected to get only an instructor's position, maybe.




12 comments:

John Hill said...

Good morning, Angel!
Thanks for a fine story to start the day.

Linda Kay said...

Such adventures for Madison! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? A cute story to start my day, Angel...have a special weekend.

Dixie@dcrelief said...

That's using your brains!

Duckbutt said...

A nice, cheerful story for a Friday!

Duckbutt said...

A nice, cheerful story for a Friday!

TexWisGirl said...

'if you got it, flaunt it', so they say...

Mike said...

Thanks for reminding me of 'HornDog'. I can picture Madison out on the dance floor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igFvoDoi2mg
The video doesn't match the song. Scroll down to the comments so you don't have to watch it.
Can you remember what car commercial this was from?

Chuck Bear said...

A fun story. It helps if the department chair is a guy.

Cloudia said...

If life gives you lemons, make lemon-aid. If life gives you melons, do anything you want!




ALOHA from Honolulu,
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=



Bilbo said...

I'm sure Madison would make a fine teaching assistant, although I'm not sure that her students would appreciate the finer points of her lectures. And I loved Cloudia's comment!

Grand Crapaud said...

Cloudia gave a real zinger!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thanks for your remarks and support for what might be considered a risqué topic!