Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Quotations of eViL pOp TaRt

I originally wrote this four years ago.  Since I've deleted and added a few "quotations."


I like dogs and cats; and any guy who doesn't is suspect, in my book.

Love is risky; but it is also worth living for.

There are real limits to self-suggestion; otherwise, we would look forward to weekends so we could clean our ovens.

In vino veritas applies only when there's so little veritas to go around, like in advertising or politics..

Leadership does not come ex officio.

Graduation speeches, sermons, and bikinis should be brief.

A stupid idea endorsed by a committee is still a stupid idea.

Living life is like going on a blind date without makeup.

Love is like pi: it's natural, irrational, and very important.

The only saving grace of stupid opinions is that the owner usually does not recognize their stupidity.

Irony is good and cleansing in small doses, but corrosive in large ones.

Beware of men bearing accordions.

One of the dirty little secrets of adult life is how little thought, planning, and execution are given to important decisions made by governing bodies.

Being rushed into a decision is a recipe for making a bad one.

When you think that people can't get any dumber, someone will come along to surprise you.

Unfortunately, there's a tendency to regard many individual differences as psychiatric problems: being shy, feckless, or even a pain in the behind should not necessarily warrant psychiatric intervention.

Idealists can be as scary as fanatics.

There should be no requirement that a person have an opinion, much less an opinion on everything.

It is a real consolation that neither the Papacy nor the Presidency is conferred by heredity.

Very few people have the discipline to edit sufficiently what they have written.

Keeping one's mouth shut is usually an effective way of avoiding trouble.

I'd be more afraid of blockheads than mad scientists.

If you wish to improve critical thinking, require more science.

It's fatuous to think that you can judge people by appearance: in real life you can't distinguish a sex offender from a game show host.

Most editorials are exercises in self-indulgence,

Most people are comfortable in their prejudices; and regard their vices as virtues.

If you read only dreck, then you will tend to write only dreck.

A boyfriend is more than an accessory.

Getting an education is not like receiving a suppository while unconscious: you have to do a lot of hard work in the process.

Prayer may help; but I would also use fuses for electrical circuits.

To understand things is to take them lightly.

Call girls and academic consultants have many similar characteristics; except that call girls are generally better dressed and are more honest.

Religion, toilets, and cell phones should all be used quietly and privately.

To use the opinions of actors and actresses as guides to which politics to support is sort of the equivalent to consulting engineers for fashion advice.

The education of a young person is incomplete unless he or she can make a perfect cup of coffee, a few classical mixed drinks, and to lie convincingly.

Committee meetings that last more than an hour and a half testify that the chair was unprepared for the meeting, unable to control its course, or was self-indulgent.

When all else fails, read the instruction manual.

If an idea still sounds good when you are sober, it's probably a good idea.

Smile at the Dean: he'll either think that you think he's cute or you're up to something. Either alternative is good.

Wearing underwear is a homage given to convention.

Learning a foreign language and a foreign culture is time well-spent.

Temperance should be practiced in moderation.

One possible type of male that should be emulated by more women is the strong, silent type.

Avoid helpful aunts who want to set you up with "a son of a friend of theirs'.

Getting up early in the morning is a necessity or a habit; it is not a virtue.

In your relationships with your pets remember that it's you that gets to give them the worm pills, not the other way around.

No one really looks good in a sombrero.

Don't assume that guys have the ability to read your mind.

It's a bad election when you leave the voting booth with a sense of having done something shameful without the pleasure that comes from many actual shameful activities.

It's easier to understand life if one reflects that the world is run by men who wear ugly ties.

A lie is a lie; no matter how sincerely it is presented. 

Getting an education is worth it.

Idiots fail to distinguish between feeling righteous and being right.

If we ever have philosopher-kings nowadays, they more likely to have engineering than liberal arts degrees.

You never have to be ashamed of having been tolerant of others.


Brandi said...

So true about fanatics, especially nowadays.

Chuck Bear said...

On target observations about life in general.

MarkD60 said...

"When all else fails, read the instruction manual."
and not before. That's my quote.

Linda Kay said...

Prayer may help; but I would also use fuses for electrical circuits. This one struck me as interesting, as we really do have to work on "fixing" things ourselves before we require divine intervention! Lots of great ideas in here.

TexWisGirl said...

i liked the irony one a lot. and the use of toilets, cell phones and religion. :)

Big Sky Heidi said...

You got it very right about love. And committees, too.

Anonymous said...

Regarding your comment about underwear, do you ever go without?

Mike said...

I edit.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I look forward to weekends. And avoiding fanatics.

Anonymous said...

A really cute cartoon!

Anonymous said...

you've built up quite a repertoire

...i like the one about reading a woman's mind - it is not an easy task to say the least.

Deena said...

A good collection of readable quotes

Cloudia said...

You are my Quote Queen!!!

Awesome truths for your youth[s]

Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be part of. Geri Weitzman

ALOHA from Honolulu
=^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

Bilbo said...

"Religion, toilets, and cell phones should all be used quietly and privately." I think I'm in love.

John Hill said...

Great stuff, Angel!
Hard to pick a favorite.