Saturday, November 29, 2014

Observations by Cowgirl Melinda

Cowgirl Melinda is prone to make some pithy observations from time to time.  It's a hazard of being alone in the saddle a lot.  Plus her butt gets a heap tired as well.

Genius has its limits. Stupidity knows no bounds. 

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. 

Buckos, riding a bronco is like dancing with a girl.  The trick is matching your partner's rhythm.

Reciting poetry is like a haircut.  If it's good, you feel like a million bucks.  If it's bad, you hide your head under your hat.

A bronco rider should be light in the head and heavy in the seat. 

Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.

Some people because they got something to say.  Others talk because they got to say something.

Never wrestle with a pig, You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

If you can't sing -- dance.

Broke is what happens when a cowgirl lets her yearnings get ahead of her earnings.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely. 

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Never trust a man who agrees with you. He's probably wrong.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.

Ride the horse in the direction it's going.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, then it probably isn't.

An old timer's a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences -- some of 'em true.

It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you put on your makeup in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a beautician if you need a haircut.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

Telling a man to get lost and making him do it are two entirely different propositions.

Don't worry about biting off more than you kin chew; your mouth is probably bigger than you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with you.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

Generally, you ain't learning nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Letting the cat out of the bag is a hell of a lot easier than putting' it back in.

Always take a good look at what you are about to eat.  It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

There are three kinds of men, The one that learns by reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

A good horse never comes in a bad color.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You can't trust your dog to watch your food.

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.


Bilbo said...

I like the last one best!

Mike said...

'If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, then it probably isn't.'

It's real easy to live by this maxim.

TexWisGirl said...

lots of wisdom. :)

Grand Crapaud said...

Good advice!

Chuck Bear said...

Good ones by that Western gal!

allenwoodhaven said...

An excellent collection!

Linda Kay said...

My, My....cowgirl Melinda is wise beyond her years. How funny!

Anemone said...

Great zingers!

Cloudia said...

Good rules, pardner!

ALOHA from Honolulu

Anonymous said...

some great lessons there!

John Hill said...

Ride a horse in the direction it's going-- it's much easier that way!