Monday, August 11, 2014

Billy Bob Opts for a Life of Crime

Billy Bob was not one of the sharpest knives in the drawer.  He tried various pursuits, but was not especially good at them.  So, he decided to try the romance of bank robbing.  But he wanted to keep his day job which was delivering pizzas.  So he planned this money-making scheme for after work, and spent his time planning his robbery while delivering pizzas..  

At 7 PM, after he clocking out, he headed for the bank with his shotgun, only to find it closed.  The best access to the bank he could find was the ATM.  He scribbled a bank robbery note on back of a pizza delivery checklist, folded it  up, and stuck it into the ATM slot.  Nothing happened.  

So Billy Bob tried a verbal approach.  He shouted to the ATM: "Give me your money, or else."  Nothing happened.  So Billy Bob let fly with a quail load.  The pellets bounced around the place, including back at Billy Bob.  

So Billy Bob went home and watched television instead.  

The next day, a nearby F.B.I. office heard about someone vandalizing an ATM; jamming its mechanism with trash and shooting it with quail shot.  The Agent in Charge said, "Damn it, another trip to pick up Billy Bob.  I wish he had decided to be a moonshiner instead; then he would be ATF's problem instead of mine."


12 comments:

Meredith said...

He sounds like a former boyfriend!

Linda Kay said...

OMG! How funny is that. Every once in a while you see something on TV about stupid criminals, but this one takes the cake. Thanks for my Monday chuckle.

TexWisGirl said...

haha. :)

John Hill said...

Bad choice for Billy Bob. Guess delivering pizzas isn't a good companion job for bank robbing.

Bilbo said...

The credit union where Agnes used to work was held up one time by a fellow who came back a few days later and tried to deposit the money he stole into his account. Even better, he was an Army military policeman!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Funny!

Mike said...

Billy Bob needs to rub his head on a whetstone.

Cloudia said...

Yup yup





ALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
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beach lad said...

ha - I luv that he wanted to keep his day job.

Brandi said...

We need further adventures of Billy Bob.

Grand Crapaud said...

You need minimal smarts to be a bank robber, I guess.

Insane Penguin said...

Even bank robbing has declined in skill.