The Well-Endowed Organist

St. Cletus Church had a well-endowed organist named Reneé.  Although she dressed properly on Sunday, her movements in playing the organ caused a distracting jiggle in them accompanied by an embarrassing nipple erection.  The men of the parish in particular found this attention-drawing.

The ladies of the Altar Society were appalled at this unseemly display.  They didn't know what to do, so they asked the Prophetess Madeline to intervene in her role as a traiteur.

When told, Reneé was mortified at this state of affairs.  Although she did always wear a bra, when the spirited moved her as she played the organ, she still showed.  Reneé did not want to undergo breast reduction surgery; feeling it was ungrateful to the LORD to do so and besides her boyfriend liked her that way.  The Prophetess agreed: whatever size boobs you got was part of God's cosmic plan.

So Madeline, the Prophetess, suggested an alternative approach: that Reneé try rubbing her breasts with green persimmon juice; that sour juice would cause them to pucker and they would become less noticeable.  She also told Reneé not to taste the green persimmons, as they would make her talk funny.

And it worked.  The next Sunday, her breasts minded their manners while she played the organ. 

But then, at the time it was to do the sermon, the priest said,  "Dew to thircumthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not have a sewmon today!"