Friday, February 8, 2013

Sakura the Pot Princess

As a fairy, Sakura had an unfortunate work history: she started off as the Cherry Blossom Fairy; but she overtested the elixir on herself and became sleepy herself instead of giving humans Spring Fever.  After other false starts, she become the Fruitcake Fairy, and turned a tidy profit by lacing those inedible products with alcohol despite her not being over 21 at that time.  When she and other fairies were pink slipped, they worked as ronin cheerleaders, making a go of it for a while.

And, she was rumored to be in control of the lighting at the recent Super Bowl; but the real culprit was voodoo!  That is for true!  It seems that the N.F.L. did not get sufficient goofus dust or John the Conquerer or other gris-gris to handle a major spectator event.  As for the minature dolls, they were re-branded as minature Forty-Niner or Ravens players and sold to rebid fans.  Even practitioners of the voodoo arts know modern business techniques.

Anyway, Sakura temporarily got a job on the wait staff of a restaurant that specialized in hot wings, but she found the clientele to be ungenteel.  As a matter of fact, the guys could be rambunctous.

So she meandered over to St. Tammany Parish where it's always 4:20 and she became a herb gardener.  Apparently, Sakura was in her metier: having transparent wings was not out of place there where the Honey Island Swamp Monster also roams!  Her cilantro grew tall in the early Spring, and it was followed by oregano, lavender, sweet basil, chives, rosemary, mint, parsley, a cornicopia of herbal crops to delight the discriminating palate!  She noticed that some of her prime customers seemed to be unconventional herb lovers, especially for her oregano.  In questioning one of them further, it seemed that they were cutting their own product, marijuana, with oregano.  (They make a nice additive to brownies or fudge, too: see Alice B. Toklas brownies in Wikipedia.)

As someone said after trying some:  "You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie!"

This miffed her, to say the least.  Sakura believed strongly in pure products and wanted no part of pot-adulterating.  She was a strong believer in the Sixth Commandment (the Seventh, for some Protestants).  So she decided to take countermeasures.

Now St. Tammany Parish is easy shipping distance to New Orleans and Biloxi, and she soon developed a fine product widely known as St. Tammany Scented Gold.  Funny thing: she was finally able to spread widespread drowsiness to humans; but they also developed an incredible sense of the munchies.  Those leftover whiskey-laced fruitcakes camme in handy.  For others, Fritos would do in a pinch.

Never underestimate the power of a good fairy.  But especially a slightly bad fairy!



Duckbutt said...

An amazing literary reference.

Meredith said...

A nice story. I especially liked the first one.

John Hill said...

Haven't had a case of the munchies since I was probably about your age, Angel.
That would be hazardous to my job security!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Job Bob Briggs called it Arkansas Polio Weed. Is the local weed in LA that strong?

Kristen Drittsekkdatter said...

You gave about as convincing an explanation as any other one for the 34 minute stadium light failure during the Super Bowl. Will New Orleans ever get it again? I wonder. It seems to be a lackadasical city.

Mike said...

If she decides to move to St. Louis she can move into the condos right down the road from me. Sakura Gardens.

Bilbo said...

Well, now I know who to turn to for gardening advice come spring.

The Bastard King of England said...

What's a ronin cheerleader?

Nice picture.

Grand Crapaud said...

Alice B. Toklas brownies is anold hippie recipe. They're potent!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Duckbutt and Meredith - Thank you!

John Hill -- Bad for mine too.

King -- These are freelance cheerleaders, much like ronins are freelance samurai.

Bilbo -- She would work wonders if you are a herb gardener!

Heidi -- It's reputed to be.

Grand -- I'll take your word on that.

Mike -- I'll look into it; it sounds very pretty.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

A wonderous fairy tale!

Jen said...

Cute story. So, should I not stick pins in my little souvenir doll?

Hell Hound said...

She sounds like someone to smoke a little weed with!