Sunday, July 22, 2012

His and Hers Navel Jewelry

The fashion mavens have decreed: In Summer, 2012 going around with an unadorned navel is so passé.  Several factors converged to make this a reality.  (1)  Summer, 2012 promises to be hotter than usual; and there will be a longer period of time when wearing little clothing is practical.  (2)  While the economy is allegedly on an upswing (at last), timid shoppers are more likely to respond through small purchases.  (3)  Generation X, and its followers Generation Y, are following baby boomers like Madonna in deciding to be less reticent in their bodily display.

Now no one wants to put on her bikini and feel underdressed.  And with the daring navel-flaunting fashion styles heralded in Elle and Vogue, the fashionista is inclined to emphasize her focal asset.  [Word from Paris and Milan: bosoms are out; navels are in.]

Igor Dulance, premier designer of fashion needed a new twist to this trend in order to be ahead of the fashion curve.  After several Camparis, and moments meditating at church, he has an inspiration:  Why not launch a fashion trend that would increase the number of possible navel jewelry wearers?

He consulted his so-chic designer staff.  One of them, Matt, suggested increasing that target range of possible jewelry-wearers.  However, targeting underaged girls would produce negative reactions, and most boomers still preferred more inhibited, non-revealatory styles.  Therefore, those were not prime candidates to be targeted.  So who's left?

Igor said aloud, "Guys.  Yes, by golly, guys!!!"

But most males are not fashion-conscious.  On the other hand, as the French said, "Vendez aux dames," for many reasons.  One is that they are more fashion-conscious.  Another is that some engage in retail therapy.  Finally, there's the timeless problem:  what special sort of gift to get him?

Igor asked for possible ideas for designs.

Brenda suggested that they could issue a NFL or MLB logo line; it should not be hard to get the rights for it from the NFL or MLB teams.

Clarissa piped on, "We could sell them in hardware stores  or those big box sports fashion emporiums also!"

But it was Hortense Guillard who thought of the real clincher: his and hers navel rings!  Among the avant garde they could replace earrings.


Hell Hound said...

If you make NFL navel pins, some guys would wear them!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Vendez aux dames. I enjoyed reading this, even though it could even become real someday.

Bilbo said...

"Bosoms are out; navels are in?" I don't recall being asked for my opinion!

Anemone said...

Navel pins are good for hiding outies, like bras are for npple bumps. :)