Monday, March 19, 2012

Much Ado About Very Little

Here's a perspective from a big ole newspaper from the Left Coast about the recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover.  Apparently the model on the cover, Kate Upton, is castigated by many because of many faults.  Here's an enumeration:

1.  She's too chubby to be a model.  Like the anorexic wraiths that appear on catwalks are the gold standard?  Isn't anorexia a big concern with girls, and most cases develop during the early part of their teen years?

2.  She's too blonde.  Well, we are a group subject to prejudice, and maybe overexposed.  Part of that is due to the Anita Loos effect: the notion that if you put a blonde on a magazine cover, it will boost newsstand sales by about 20%. 

3.  She wore a bikini bottom that is absurdly tiny.  Hey, it's the swimsuit issue; at least she wore a bottom!  Or is this just to further a wicked ol' liberal plot to get everyone up so that Congress will establish a Bureau of Standards for Swimsuit Bottoms and get those standardized like everything else? 

4.  She's too long-legged, like she belonged in the WBNA.  Now is that a bad thing?  Uh, dudes and dudettes, the magazine is called Sports Illustrated, not Waifs' Weekly.

5.  She has a fun, energetic lifestyle not given over to modesty, good works, or the Puritan ethic.

6.  She danced the Dougie at a ball game, and the You Tube video of this received over 3.5 million views. 

By way of contrast, the political debates were underwatched, in the author's opinion.  As he put it, "We may be in the midst of a titanic struggle for the soul of our country, but, in the land of the free, none of us is required to pay attention."  Sniff.  Boohoo!  They won't play Presidential dollies like they should!

I'll tell it openly, I didn't watch any of the debates, either!  And I won't watch those exercises in artificial news-making and futility that are the Presidential and Vice-Presidential debates this fall.  Or any other year.
Why?  Because they are primarily exercises in posturing or playing gotcha, not informative.  Do I have to watch hours ad nauseam of Rick Santorum to decide he's not for me?

And, isn't it strange to compare a one minute You Tube segment with the hours given over to debate?  It seems like ordinary commercials require almost that amount of time.

Okay, maybe I had a mild hissy fit over a West Coast writer's interpretation about various Puritans' hissy fits, but what the heck?  If I batted .300 in blogging, I'd be Hall of Fame material. 

"A titanic struggle for the soul of the country?"  Such blue, supercharged language!  Getting Americans to have a consensus is like herding cats.  We can't even go metric or agree on Daylight Saving Time.  Yours and my unextended substance is safe: good ole American obstinacy is awake and ready to go blitzkrieg bop.,0,7879203.story


I'm With Stupid said...

I like this idea of a "titanic struggle for the soul of the country." I think I'll join it. On the other side, of course.


Bilbo said...

I'd like to join the titanic struggle for the sole of the country, then apply it firmly to the backsides of Messrs Santorum, Gingrich, Boehner, McConnell, Reid, (Ms) Pelosi, etc.

Mike said...

I like my models built like JLO!!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Mike, JLo has Kardashian proportions!

I agree that it's a non-starter as a controversy, and the titanic struggle is overrated.

Rick Santorum is not for me, either.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

They don't make titanic struggles like they used to. Now columnists have the vapors over bikini bottoms.

Mike, JLO looks well-nourished; a better role model than the typical one. A good fashion role model should not stint on the rolls.

Bilbo, it sounds like you you put your heart and soul in it,

The Bastard King of England said...

Her bikini bottom is so almost not there that it's beyond the pale Would you wear one?