Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What's Your Number, Part Two

As an alternative to this question raised in a recent romantic comedy, one person suggested an alternative: how many persons have seen your boobs over some extended period of time.   

Now I'm not going to reveal any personal information; only some views from a discussion that my friends and I had on this topic while enjoying that original New Orleans girlie drink, Ramos Gin Fizzes!  One of them, yclept Jessica, was studying to be a lawyer.  She apparently channeled Bill Clinton in making her contributions.  (I heard that he very lawyerly split hairs over the meaning of the word "is.")

Jessica argued, "What do you mean by 'seen your boobs'?  Specifically, how would you categorize the following:

1.  Modest décollété?

2.  Severe décollété?

3.  Going braless and showing?

4.  Wearing form-fitting clothes?

5.  Exposure by accident, like a swimsuit malfunction?

6.  Culturally-permitted exposure?"

Now comes the question much-discussed among females of younger dating age: When is it okay to let him get to second base?*

I'll not bore you with the gory details, but I think that it is safe to acknowledge that women are not numerically-challenged, despite the general stereotype that goes around.  It's not just the odd girl who wanders into the calculus class** unsuspectedly; we all inhabit a world in which we think quantifiably.

But I will end by saying that we ramped up to Sazeracs, and somehow managed to play basketball at 1 A.M. instead of flashing the webcam on Bourbon Street.

* The consensus among Catholic girls is: not before the fifth time you go out.
**Calculus classes are great places to meet smart guys.


Big Sky Heidi said...

I agree, smart guys often take math and engineering.

Big Sky Heidi said...

It's okay to fudge on that rule sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Which one is you, Angel baby?

Full Cup Balcony said...

I think that uptight Americans should enjoy going topfree. I'm an ex-Canadian, and I enjoy it.

Bilbo said...

Second base? I always kept getting thrown out at first.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Try to draw a walk, maybe?

Big Sky Heidi said...

It was a funny thing -- after I got my tits enlarged, some family members, not all female -- wanted to see my tits. I was selective, nothing creepy going on. Of course, Mom was with me, carrying me through. God, she was a saint!

Anonymous said...

Okay, ladies: what's YOUR numbers?