Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My Guardian Angel Learns a Fashion Lesson

Steve, my Guardian Angel, declared over his morning honey bun that he thought he'd shed his robe in favor of some more Chapel Hill-appropriate male garb.  I was relieved, as he did seem a little conspicuous in his white robe and slippers, even though he shed his angelic wings a few weeks before.  Anyway, I offered hopefully to take him shopping, being that shopping is an all-year activity thanks to malls.

He indicated that it really wasn't necessary, and that I needed to write that paper I've been procrastinating on.  I thought, "Hmmm . . . . maybe there's a cute girl angel I'm going to hear about someday?"

Anyway, he came back wearing an amazing outfit: camou cargo pants, a Duke t-shirt, a red-and-white striped necktie, and running shoes!  When I recovered my amazement, I asked in my usual subtle manner:

"Where did you get those clothes?"

"Oh, at a little store called the Salvation Army.  I figured that they were on our side."

Clearly, in the Celestial Kingdom guy angels are just as fashion-challenged as their human Earthly counterparts.  So I first tried to dissuade him with a threat: "Steve, if you wear that, I'm going to think impure thoughts about Brad Pitt."

But Steve was unmoved, in his stubborn angelic way.

So I decided to go the diplomatic route, to do some damage control.

"Er, Steve.  About that Duke t-shirt.  It might not be a good idea."

"Why not," he replied.  "The colors match my eyes."  Gawd!  He is so guileless.

Not quite.  So I fell back on the semiotics position.

"About Duke t-shirts.  Did you know that Duke's sports teams are known as the Blue Devils?"

"Really?  I didn't know that.  You mean I could get in trouble for wearing it?"

"I'm afraid so.  Your home office might have questions and call you in for retraining."

"Well, I'm not a fan of any team that calls itself the Sad Devils.  It's like that school from the west that I heard calls itself the Demon Deacons.  What's going on?  Our Adversary must have a strong presence in this Tarheel State; but, Angel, never fear, I'm on the job with you."

So, with my guidance, he gave up the Duke shirt, and replaced it with a nice button-down shirt that went with the tie.  But he still kept the cargo pants. 

You have to accept partial victories gracefully.

Beginning next week, I will be away for a bit; however, I've scheduled the posting of a drink recipe and a tapir story.

Have a nice week!


Anemone said...

I enjoyed your new Steve story.

Hmmm.... what is hanging from his robe?

eViL pOp TaRt said...

The end feathers of his left wing.

Bilbo said...

I shall miss you while you are gone ... well-dressed guardian angel and all. Hope you have a good week as well!

Anonymous said...

The Demon Decons are at a Baptist university in Winston-Salem.

Duckbutt said...

Appropriately named.

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