Friday, January 28, 2011

In Which I Fondle David's Butt

While on a trip to Italy with some friends, we went to the Accademia in Florence, where one of the stars in the gallery is Michaelangelo's statue of David.  David is, of course, the big naked guy, standing 17 feet tall, or so I'm told.  Anyway, it was a firecely hot day, and several of us gravitated to the wall in the rear of the alcove wherein David is positioned.  Ahh . . . . the cool air from the vents was delightful! 

One of my companions raised a dare: would any of us actually go over and fondle David in the tushy while she took a picture?  This would be a great souvenir that we could show people back home and prove that our European trip was truly educational.

But there was a slight problem.  Michaelangelo outdid hmself: the marble statue was 17 feet tall, and it was on a base of maybe five feet.  Fortunately, a guy volunteered to hoist me like a cheerleader on his shoulders, and we moved slowly into position.

Just as I was cupping David's hiney with my hands, a guard approached, so I dismounted.  Busted!  He scolded us for touching the art work, and I responded, "Je suis désolé."

He went, "Oh, you are French?"  He was suddenly more polite.  He took my picture-taking friend as a paparazzo, and this was a staged comic performance.

I know, at least, when to keep quiet.  Apparently, Michaelangelo did not intend for this to be hands-on art.

7 comments:

bakku-shan said...

Why not touch his pee-pee instead?

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I don't go to third base with statues unless we've been dating for two months.

Atomic Dog said...

Great comeback! Poor Davy!

Deena said...

It's good to know that guys don't always have to make the first move.

bakku-shan said...

Sometimes good girls do.

Sinner Bob said...

Tsk, tsk! Sexually harassing naked statues, yet! That's depraved.

Chuck Bear said...

This is great comedy!