Friday, October 15, 2010

In Which I Go to Confession

The Sacrament of Reconciliation, which the Catholic Church advocates, is a rite in which the miscreant confesses his or her sins to a priest.  It can be done in the confessional (old-style way) or in acReconciliation room (new way).  Suffice to say, most people opt for the old way: to be spared eye-to-eye contact.  I know not what the padres prefer.

Anyway, I remember the occasion in which I, or similies to me, dressed in white blouses, brown pleated skirts, and brown-and-white saddle oxfords would go en masse, as follows:

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been three months since my last confession.  I gossiped a lot, and, er, I let Tommy get to second base."

"Three Hail Marys, and play clolser to the bag when there's a runner on first."

See what I mean.

However, somewhat older me was in need of a little cheap therapy, so I went recently.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  It has been three years."  I confessed some more dramatic sins or follies, and then dropped the bomb:

"Father, I repeatedly used Wikipedia."

"You.  Used.  Wikipedia.  That is a mortal sin for graduate students.   I am astonished, and saddened.  Absolution from this kind of sin is reserved for the Bishop.  Therefore, you should wear sackcloth and ashes for a month, do the Penitential Psalms six times,and make a pilgrimage to some unfashionable Holy Place.  Maybe he will deign, eventually, to see you.."

I had this image of my kneeling in the snow, much like King Henry at Canossa.  Fortunately, I live in the Mid-Atlantic South.

This is a hazard of going to confession in a university town.

10 comments:

bakku-shan said...

So how long were you dating him? Hopefully, at least five dates.

Big Sky Heidi said...

1. Was he inside or outside?

2. Did you list Wikipedia in your references? Bad Karma there...........

Svejk said...

Good going! Great tale.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

We were familiar at that point -- knew each others' middle names.

Deena said...

Do you still see him?

eViL pOp TaRt said...

We occasionally see each other.

Anonymous said...

So why is doing either sinful? I like both.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I don't think either one is. I just tried to be funny here.

Anemone said...

I found this hilaroius.

Brandi said...

Me too