In Which I Go to Confession

The Sacrament of Reconciliation, which the Catholic Church advocates, is a rite in which the miscreant confesses his or her sins to a priest.  It can be done in the confessional (old-style way) or in acReconciliation room (new way).  Suffice to say, most people opt for the old way: to be spared eye-to-eye contact.  I know not what the padres prefer.

Anyway, I remember the occasion in which I, or similies to me, dressed in white blouses, brown pleated skirts, and brown-and-white saddle oxfords would go en masse, as follows:

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been three months since my last confession.  I gossiped a lot, and, er, I let Tommy get to second base."

"Three Hail Marys, and play clolser to the bag when there's a runner on first."

See what I mean.

However, somewhat older me was in need of a little cheap therapy, so I went recently.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  It has been three years."  I confessed some more dramatic sins or follies, and then dropped the bomb:

"Father, I repeatedly used Wikipedia."

"You.  Used.  Wikipedia.  That is a mortal sin for graduate students.   I am astonished, and saddened.  Absolution from this kind of sin is reserved for the Bishop.  Therefore, you should wear sackcloth and ashes for a month, do the Penitential Psalms six times,and make a pilgrimage to some unfashionable Holy Place.  Maybe he will deign, eventually, to see you.."

I had this image of my kneeling in the snow, much like King Henry at Canossa.  Fortunately, I live in the Mid-Atlantic South.

This is a hazard of going to confession in a university town.