The nine Muses of antiquity each had roles assigned to them: Clio was the Muse of History, Melpomene was the Muse of Tragedy, Calliope was the Muse of Music, Erato was the muse of Dirty Poetry, and so forth. The point is, each was tasked with a particular role in the creative process. In that oblique way their randy granddad (Paw-Paw) furthered the course of civilization and bestowed gifts on mortals. Well, it beats goddesses rigging beauty contests or giving misleading prophecies, I must admit.
However admirable the division of muse labor might have been 2500 years ago, the forms of creativity have changed: modes of expression now exist that were not available in the past due to the internet and other routes to creativity. Therefore, we need more muse talent to fill in the muse gap!
Let's see now . . . . Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy, seems to be underemployed lately; and has been putting on a little weight due to too many venti-sized raspberry mocha lattes. She's moving towards venti-size, herself! And poor Erato, if the best that mortals can do with her assistance is:
I luv you
I adore you
Pull down your dress
Let me explore you.
then things are definitely sub-prime now.
Of course, there have been attempts to retrain these ladies, but re-casting Melpomene as the Muse of Blogging. However, it's apparent that many blogsters simply degenerate into mere scolds or curmudgenons. I firmly believe that Andy Rooney has set the national standard for crumudgenondom; and others are pale counterfeits! No, Thomas Sowell did not exactly mean that when he coined the term "Tragic Vision." Melpomene too often goes back into her old, outdated ways. This is not good. Plus tragic poetry is now in short supply.
So do we have anyone who could be called up from the minors, enrobed, and be designated a tenth muse? It's obvious that we have a critical need in the blogsphere.
I though of one. Make Clarissa the Muse of Internet Blogging!
You remember Clarissa, the Melissa Joan Hart character on the television program Clarissa Tells It All? Okay, it was a girl thing years ago. But she could be our Muse of Bloggers. She was credible, entertaining, and friendly, if no-nonsense. Those are blogger qualities to emulate!
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