Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Problem With 'Hooking Up'

If there's anything that would get me provoked, it's the guys that ask me out with the notion that I might be an occasion for short-term sex, referred to loosely nowadays as 'hooking up.'  It's not the sex thing at all, it's the absence of desire for a relationship that is troubling.  The message comes out as:

"You're okay for a casual mounting as a way to cap off the evening, but I don't find you very desirable to get to know and have a long-term relationship with."  Whether the reason is because you're boring or unconventional or plain or simply have small boobs you're not told.

Well, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Podnah.

This 'Sex and the City' thing is really a guy fantasy that we're having sold to us without our looking much into it.  What is in it for us?

I can see now why some women (and guys) insist on premarital virginity: this is a way to select out the classy guys from these hit and run players.  Anyway, I will go out with someone new; but however sweet and charming he seems to be, my panties stay on!

You know, they're like the people who order the shortcake and eat only the whipped cream.  They really are missing out on the full richness of a relationship.  In that way, we are not the problem; it's these guys and their inability to see beyond the immediate.

On the other hand, developmental psychologists have found that the ability to commit to a long-term relationship with another person takes time during young adulthood.  It may be that some guys need a bit more maturing.  Those who expect too much, too soon with them are acting like fisherwomen who catch and keep fish that are below the legal size limit.

They might be ready some day, but their day is not now.


Banana Oil said...

A great post! Thanks for all of us!

Anonymous said...

So when do you think it's okay to get initmate with a guy and not be viewed by him as a tease?

eViL pOp TaRt said...

By waiting for a sufficient time -- to see if he is interested and not looking simply for a roll in the hay. Judge by his behavior.

Anonymous said...

How old are you? Your views seem sort of old-fashioned.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I'm in my mid-20's. I stand by my views; they might not fit in everyone's case.

Dan Pearce said...

Random sex is pretty lame. I like how you stand by your guns, keep doing it. I think it's funny that the person who said you're old fashion posted anonymously. Not a lot of guts there!

Single Dad Laughing

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thank you for your observation on this, Dan Pearce. And thanks for becoming a follower.

I wrote this because I had been annoyed at someone's attitude, which seemed to be very primitive and self-serving.