Friday, February 9, 2018

How to Communicate that You Want to "Do It" . . . .

Like clockwork, the demoiselles of St. Cletus's Parish were having their biweekly coffee get-together when Clotilde brought up a tricky question: How to demurely communicate to your boyfriend that you desire a nice roll in the hay? Now everyone knew what she meant; no reference to any visit to the barn or haystack here though it would perhaps be a new adventure! But, still, everyone eagerly waited for the suggestions, even the members of the group who were not really sexually active yet.

Suzette Picou, in her forthright fashion, suggested coming out starkers in front of him. But others demurred; saying that this was too overt and not sporting.

And Clotilde Badeaux confessed, "Once I answered the door for my boyfriend while wearing a see-through nightgown. It turned out to be the U.P.S. guy! But the plus side to it was that he hand-delivered packages to me."

Everyone, including Clotilde, laughed.

Marie D'Aquin said that she communicated desire by wearing her red bra under a sheer blouse. She indicated that worked.

Hilda Walspurgis indicated that, when the Saints won, her husband tended to become amorous. She also commented that he had a brother who lived in Cleveland. The girls connected the dots. So much for Hot in Cleveland.

But in a practical vein, Clotllde Badeaux said, "I just put out a bowl of green M&Ms for when he comes over." (Trading on a belief common among Gen-Xers.)

Missy Chauvin commented, "Isn't that what Van Halen demands before any concert?"

Clotilde corrected, "No, they demand that there should be no brown M&Ms with the dressing room munchies; and that's just so to prove that the promoters read the contract!"

All of the ladies liked this very practical suggestion of putting out green M&Ms. But Madeline piped up, "You can buy a bag of green M&Ms in time for Valentine's Day if you order on-line!"


Jono said...

Wow! Didn't know about the green M&Ms. Still don't believe it, however. Remember that men are often slow on the uptake and we need more than just a minor hint to know that someone wants to "do it". If you are horny it's best just to get naked and let him figure it out eventually. It may take some time so be patient.

Mike said...

Somebody is taking advantage of a urban legend. Light green M&Ms cost twice as much as dark green.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Did a little pricing of M and Ms, Mike?

Arlee Bird said...

If a women came out unexpectedly stark naked then I might be more scared than turned on--depending on the circumstances of course. On our first date, the woman who would become my second wife wore an enticing slit skirt and plied me with alcohol charged to her credit card. There was little mistaking what she wanted and she got it no problem.

Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out

Bilbo said...

I'm pushing 70. I communicate that I'm in the mood by getting down on my knees and pleading.

Cloudia said...

Always a pleasure, Angel 👼

Atomic Dog said...

That is a great short tale!