Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Democrats, Republicans, and Sex

A survey from Match.com reported that conservative Republicans have less sex than liberal Democrats, but that, when they do, it's more likely to result in females experiencing an orgasm.

A survey relied on 6,000 American singles reported on their political leanings and their sexual activities.

About 53% of Republicans said they had orgasms almost every time they had sex, compared to 40 percent of Democrats. Republicans also engaged in love-making less frequently than Democrats.

Why do these differences occur? I offer several possible hypotheses:

1.  Democrats lie.

2.  Republicans lie.

3.  Both Democrats and Republicans lie, but with different emphases.

4.  Given that more orgasms are clitoral, Republican women are more into DIY.

5.  Republican men, having wide experience with golf (a stereotypical Republican sport), learn better the intricacies of foreplay. 

5.  There is a water-bursting-through-the-dam factor to be weighed.  Those who have sex less often enjoy it more when they do.

6.  Republicans, having less experience, have easier standards to meet.

7.  Democrats are jaded by too much sex.

8.  Republicans try sex, and feel guilty because they enjoy it so much and it isn't golf.

The survey also revealed that the those in the differing political groups seek different traits in a partner.

What do liberal Democrats want? They place more importance on a sense of humor, independence, and someone whom they consider the equal and share a similar lifestyle to their own.

Republicans look for someone with the same background and political party and are more concerned with dating someone who's interested in marriage.

 But neither is 100% absolute in party homogeneity. Only 17% of men and 20% of women said they "must have" someone belonging to their party.

I see further questions about this, though. The inform
ation that I found from different sources refers to "conservative Republicans" and "liberal Democrats." These seem like Procrustean categories.  What about Blue Dog Democrats and RINOs? Does either group make love like bunnies and also have high rates of orgasms; or does the other group have sex rarely and also rarely experience it as orgasmic?  

So, for the fans of casual sex: if you want to do it often, find a Democrat; if you want to enjoy it more, find a Republican!

[I hope this doesn't offend sensibilities.  I realize that I am writing about two of the three no-no categories: politics and sex, but hopefully by mentioning dogs I made up for it.]



Obviously, a Southern Democrat.


8 comments:

Bilbo said...

I was going to say something about Republicans being better at screwing their constituents, but thought better of it.

Cloudia said...

I always read (not skim) your posts, Angel! You are a pleasure. ND I love the word: "Procrustean!"

Duckbutt said...

Thank you for this funny post!

Mike said...

I had to look up procrustean. I immediately thought of HOA's regulating sex.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Let's hear it for the Blue Dog Democrats!

John Hill said...

Since in today's political environment Republican is synonymous with American evangelicalism, I'm giving you a 3 for 3 rating. Even though you didn't mention religion, it is certainly implied.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Democrats do it with less guilt.

Jono said...

I should get a divorce and see if I can duplicate the results of this study.