Who Should Start a Kiss?

When it comes time to kiss, which gender is more likely to take the initiative? An article in The Guardian provided the tantalizing detail that men initiate a kiss about 79 per cent of the time; and that when they do kissers tend to prefer to lean to the right! The latter seems to something that humans might be hard-wired to do.

The researchers of this osculatory activity used cross-cultural data from Britain and Bangladesh and in both places it was the guys who were more likely to start the process.

The age-old nature-nuture question can rear its dreary head even when it comes do matters like this*: Do guys take the lead because they're more motivated to start the process which they anticipate to lead to further mutual pleasure (and get the prelims over with as soon as they can); or do cultural restraints dictate who can do what, when, and to whom?

A further question might also be: who initiates going to second or third base?

Anyway, a little story. Back when I was in high school, I was in a girls' discussion regarding kissing, (Yes, nice Catholic girls do think and mostly talk about such matters at times.) I commented that once I wanted to be kissed, so I just up and kissed Dee-Doh to help him make up his mind.

Suddenly, a silence fell. I didn't think that my revelation was particularly shocking, and they knew I was his tee copine.

But then one of them asked, "You kissed him?" Some of the discussers feigned or evinced shock!

I did not know that girls shouldn't take the lead. Like on a number of other points, I didn't get that memo. I guess I'm a bit fast!

My admission and the reaction to it had the impact of a dead rat being ceremoniously deposited on the coffee table. I did not know I transgressed a norm. But I've done things like that enough not to be surprised.

While others in the group lovingly described being kissed in glowing terms, in their cases they were the kissee, not the kisser! Apparently I had crossed a line by starting the process. A line that I felt free to cross again if males were slow. The fact that I injected myself into the initiator role was what shocked them! Immediately, one asked if I gave him a soul kiss! I did not answer. That question was rude and intrusive!

But I ask you: If you want to be kissed, why not encourage shy guys along? It's not like playing below the belt line!

*A constant question in psychology. Often a combination of both is in play.