Monday, August 14, 2017

Wanda, the Swamp Witch

The Bayou Teche environs has its own set of perils; and one of them is Wanda, the Swamp Witch.

This free spirit lives along the bayou away from the settlements by choice. This is so she can pursue her nefarious doings with impunity, including shape-shifting. Actually, she is a good business woman despite her failure to advertise in The Daily Advertiser. Although she is not based in a shop in a mall, she is only a short trip down the bayou by pirogue, and people with special needs seem to find a way.

Special needs to buy gris-gris or hexes, that is. Wanda is the local witchcraft service provider and people know where she is and some find occasion to make arrangements. Who knows what dark motives reside in the hearts of men and women . . . . . Wanda knows! And she services those needs!

Once a group of UL - Lafayette alumni desired to insure that UL - Lafayette would be sure to win over University of Southern Mississippi. They sent their most expendable member down the bayou to deal with the swamp witch. She worked a hex on the Mississippi team but demanded in return that she would be supplied with a year's supply of boudin* and that the entire group should take a vow of celibacy for a year.

When the negotiator returned with the demand, they were shocked. But they gave in and kept their vows and sent the boudin. You don't mess with swamp witches; it's bad karma! And, yes, they got their victory! And relieved wives and angry mistresses, in some cases.

Wanda also sells charms to keep husbands and dogs from straying. Of course, pieces of boudin or hush puppies also help!

Shrimpers routinely drop in on swamp witches to get information as to where to cast their nets, and horse race fans from Lafayette Downs inquire of them regarding racing outcomes. The Bayou Teche Swamp Witch does it conservatively; she's inclined to counsel buying show or even place tickets. But she can pick Daily Doubles or Trifectas.

But there's something that swamp witches can't do very well; and that's affect political races. Last year, Wanda predicted that Hillary Clinton would be elected President. We all know how well that turned out. Yet, the Democrats captured the Governorship in Louisiana. 

Wanda put it well: "Politics is the true Bitch Goddess, not Success." It's always good to remember that.


Wanda dressed for the heat of the bayou.

*A type of sausage

11 comments:

John Hill said...

Wanda has shifted her shape quite nicely!

Kristen Drittsekkdatter said...

She sounds like an interesting character. The swamp has strange things going on.

Cloudia said...

"Who knows what dark motives reside in the hearts of men and women . . . . . Wanda knows! And she services those needs!"

another fun romp with substance, Angel

Dismal Sam said...

This one is a joy to read! Thanks, Angeliquw.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Enjoyable tale. And swamp witches apparently get waxing.

Mike said...

Wanda needs to get her spellometer fixed. Then hex trump and crew out of office.

Bilbo said...

I hope this swamp doesn't get drained.

Blogoratti said...

A delightful read delving head on into a memorable tale. Greetings!

Anemone said...

Gee, a sexy witch. Louisiana IS different!

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

A sexy witch with a pretty pair.

koi seo said...

another fun romp with substance, Angel


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