Monday, April 4, 2016

Using Unicorns to Encourage Sexual Abstinence

Historically, one way of attaining sainthood was to go the virgin route. Let's face it; that way involves less mess that going the martyr route but not an effective way to be a Doctor of the Church. As for the Apostles, that was a boy's club.

Still, there are some people who make a lot about premarital virginity, especially for girls. That gives some parents conniption fits at the prospect of Prom Night. Actually, this is kind of late in the game for all practical purposes. Abstinence education has a high rate of failure, even with programs as True Love Waits and purity rings.

So is there any possible new direction that abstinence education may take? 

Here's a modest proposal based on a Medieval legend.

While stories about unicorns has gone as for back as theBook of Gilgamesh, by the Medieval period in history they included lore about the ability of virgins to attract unicorns.

As British writers Richard Barber and Anne Riches related it, "A virgin, both beautiful and naked, was bound to a tree; at which th unicorn, drawn to a creature as rare and chaste as itself, would approach and meekly lay its head in her lap; and this would so entrance it that it could be easily killed by the hunter waiting in ambush."

Well, most little girls like horses; and horse toys and movies were popular. Think of My Little Pony. And if horses and ponies are neat, how much cooler would having your own unicorn be? You would be the envy of every girl in town; especially when he farts rainbows! Now THAT might induce some girls to refraining from playing doctor with Tim or Justin.

Well, my idea might fly as well as most abstinence education programs.



No weeds were used in this post!

15 comments:

John Hill said...

Another entertaining story!
Have a great week, Angel.

Chuck Bear said...

Great satire, Angel!

Linda Kay said...

Oh, my goodness....well, I do think your idea has as much power as any other attempt at abstinence. We are human!

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Gosh darn - good point. Am I too old to own a Unicorn?

Mike said...

If I layed my head in the lap of a naked female I would be entranced too.

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

Me too...virgin or otherwise. Preferably a non-virgin!

Cloudia said...

Sad to be bait. . . for such an extraordinary creature to be killed by some guy. .. . .

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Cloudia, my sympathies are with the unicorn!

Robin said...

If abstinence drew unicorns, I'd have an entire herd in my front yard. And yet... nothing.

Sigh.

allenwoodhaven said...

Bravo! I think it's an idea worth pursuing. Abstinence needs to be taught at ever earlier ages and this might be just the way into a kid's mind. Sure beats whatever version of "just say no" is popular these days.

mike spain said...

interesting

Bilbo said...

I could have sworn I saw this as a plank in the GOP platform for the general election.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Yes, there are a lot of silly myths about virgins. Virginity is like a bubble - just one prick and it's gone.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Virgins are scarce - so are virgin politicians in Ala.bama

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