Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Dating at the Self-Service Laundry

Other than nudists or world-class slobs, everyone needs to have his or her laundry done periodically. And, according to an older article in Time magazine, Millennials in NYC have incorporated it as a way for singles to meet while doing routine tasks for themselves.* And Time further baits interest in the article by featuring a couple engaging in a PDA by a dryer! Drying clothes is erotic; who knew! Anyway, these new-style laundries may have amenities like a coffee house, movies, and other singles draws.

Actually, this seems like a very practical way of killing two birds (two boids in Brooklyn) with one stone. And it solves the practical problem of mate-seeking without fishing in the corporate stream, a no-no in some settings where True Love is regarded with suspicion, anyway.

And it would not be long before the laundry dating process would become codified with time; starting with when to go (early evening) and where (not where people who look like sex offenders or game show hosts hang out). 

But the crucial refinement of this process is what kinds of props to set the stage for a successful laundry date expedition. The old 'take a book along' one seems rather limp, as enterprising laundry daters might bring along scientific journals, cheese and cracker plates (Brie is a hit with guys), or a cute, approachable puppy dog! Shaving, showering, and work casual is good for guys; gals should use makeup and a subtle hint of scent. Wearing unwashed athletic garb is verboten unless the laundry is next to a biker bar.

Clothes do make the man; and they provide clues as to the type of man he is. Same for women. Because of this, some people are not above a little subtle impression management by dropping dress cues as types of shirts, socks, pants, and interests just like wearing low-rise pants or having grotesque tats do.

And, of course, the contents of your laundry should reflect an interesting you! Cleaned athletic shirts should be for reputable institutions of sports teams; and avoid disliked colors if in cities heavily into sports. Don't be seen folding Yankee pinstripe colors if in Southie! 

But, must important, is your underwear on display on the folding table! Keep your everyday briefs or panties in a position less prominently displayed; and those thongs and lacy pink bras more visibly displayed. 

And they do serve as a moral grounding for corporate workaholics: no matter how stratospheric your aspirations, you still need to take care of everyday chores! But, in doing so, you may get to dance in the aisles!


*The manners and morals of Millennials is a perennial interest of the media because they might extract a way of getting a profit from it somehow.

10 comments:

Bilbo said...

Clever post! Had I but known all this back when I was patronizing laundromats...

Sinner Bob said...

Damn! The laundromat in my community is damp and messy.

Cloudia said...

Another delightful romp!

Mike said...

There was a laundromat in St. Louis that was half laundromat half bar. That's right, you could belly up to bar while your clothes were washing and drying.

Linda Kay said...

How fun, Angel. My husband said he used to go to the laundromat in case he might meet up with a nice lady. I met him through a friend, so didn't get the chance to dance in the laundry aisles.

Grand Crapaud said...

Now that's convenient! Great story Angel!

Robin said...

I can only imagine the things someone would do/say in this situation.

Her: Based on your choice on underwear, this cannot work out. You see, I only date a boxers kind of guy.

Him: Well, I only date girls who go commando, and I do believe I spy panties in your basket.

Her: Good thing we found out this important information before things got serious.

Him: Ditto.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Knowing the color of her panties is good info from the start, but briefs or bikinis...

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Do you know... your post titles drag me over here, even when I no longer want to read??!!!

John Hill said...

Hmmm...
Maybe a laundry facility is a good retirement business...