Thursday, October 2, 2014

Cowgirl Melinda Blows Up Some B.S.

Cowgirl Melinda and her compadres went into this Colorado town named Baker Springs for refreshment and recreation; but the local police made it evident that their company was not welcome.  Actually, Slim Bill and Mountain Walter Wilson were arrested on a D.U.I. charge, Melinda punched a Greenie who made fun of her yoga pants, and the others were forbidden to buy more drinks as they were undesirables from Wyoming.  The cowboys, righteously enough, thought that this was outrageous!  After all, if you're on horseback and you let it do so, the horse pretty much takes you where you should go like you're on automatic pilot. And their buckarette Melinda had serious provocation from having her butt maligned!  Therefore they concluded that this was really an example of anti-cowboy or anti-Wyoming harassment by this town's police.

But what to do?  While the cowpokes were a collective rough lot, they were a few players short of a mob or a riot.  And cowpokes on horses did not push the terror buttons like a bunch of middle aged overweight bikers on outlaw motorcycles did!  No, they were regarded as a bunch of retro buffoons.  So sad!

And the possibility of riding down the street while shooting the place up did not have the impact that it did when Charles Russell was painting his western art!

Finally, one of the cowboys said, "Let's blow something up; we have some old dynamite!"  And different ideas were offered: blowing up the saloon or the water tank were originally raised but dismissed as being too antisocial because of the effect this would have on the community.  They wanted to make a point; but not hurt anyone or cause a drink shortage.  That's not the cowboy way!

However, the offending town, Baker Springs, had a mountainous decoration like many mountainous western towns: the town's initials on a mountain or hillside!  Apparently the residents of Baker Springs never thought of another possible something that B.S. could stand for; Colorado folks did lack a sense of humor, after all!  Hopefully, legalized pot would take some of their uptight edges away, eventually.

Melinda was annoyed at the B.S., proposed that they blow up the double entendre B. S. as a community service.  The cowboys allowed that it seemed like a good idea, and it would likely be seen as a civic improvement, anyway.  So they got a few sticks of dynamite and placed them around the B.S., lit the fuses, and skedaddled!

Well, one of the dynamite charges went off and blew the S up to eternity!  However, the B did not go; leaving the job only half done.

By this time they were hanging out at a drive-in, having the skating servers bringing them buffalo burgers and root beer.  They were a little disappointed, but at least one of the offending letters was gone.

Now the people in Baker Springs were puzzled by the explosion, but adapted to it very well due to the now legal locoweed.  They simply changed the name of the town to Baker.  The doggone spring was too alkaline, anyway. 


Just a little true-life fact:  Colleges and high schools, as well as towns, may go in for doing hillside letters also.  Years ago, some students from one college, I think a College of Mines, blew up a rival college's letter as a prank. 

Cowgirl Melinda, wearing party attire


MarkD60 said...

"Cowgirl Melinda Blows Up some S" it should be...

TexWisGirl said...

"B" good.

Banana Oil said...

Colorado is an odd place to be in, especially for drinking.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

We need a big H on Monte Sano.

Bilbo said...

Many years ago, not long after the earth's crust cooled, I attended North Allegheny High School. Before the homecoming game one year, the Pep Club used a great deal of lime to write "GO NA!" in big letters on the hill overlooking the football field. Sadly, the night before the big game, partisans from our rival school snuck out in the dead of night and used some more lime to add two letters ... so that the homecoming crowd looked up at the hill and saw: GO NADS! It's a lot funnier in retrospect than it was at the time.

Cloudia said...


ALOHA from Honolulu
=^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

Cloudia said...

"retro buffoons" Ima use that!

Linda Kay said...

Angel, you come up with some good ones. and this one is right up there. Melinda is really a cutey, and so nice that the cowboys didn't want to disrupt the whole community. Pranks are one thing, terrorist attacks are a whole different dimension.

Mike said...

Melindas zipper needs attention. more up or down depending on your point of view.

Anonymous said...

"Finally, one of the cowboys said, "Let's blow something up;"

...that's very funny.

Clarissa said...

I guess they wanted to blow up something else after blowing up the balloon in the drunk testing.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Bilbo, That prank calls for a cheer:

Hit t'em high,
Nit them low,
Hit them in the gonads,
Go Nads, Go!

Elvis, for Huntsville?
Why not go whole hog with UAH?

Linda Kay, thank you! I enjoy finding illustrations.

Mike, she sometimes is not very careful, being out on the lone prairie.