Saturday, January 5, 2013

What Having a Number of Lad's Magazines Imply

I don't mean to be judgmental about reading matter.  Certainly, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones, but I'd like to weigh in with my perception. 

Upfront confession:  I like to read romance fiction at times: the kind that sometimes is referred to as "bodice rippers."  So I'm not on some intellectual or moralistic high horse.  No.

There's a genre of male-oriented publication commonly called a lads' magazine.  Among the type are Maxim, Playboy, FHM, and others.  They feature a lot of articles on sports, grown-up toys, and -- not surprisingly -- underclad females.  Some women find them to be disgusting, and declare men who read them to be beyond the pale.  I'm less critical.  As a matter of fact, I bought my pal Dee-Doh a copy of Maxim when he was laid up with the flu.

Not all women feel my way.  For example, they might be threatened by the major league mammaries of the cover model, and feel that they poorly compare to her.  Or, the have this old romantic notion that it's a woman's job to police men; to put the one marked by her on the straight and narrow path.  Well, good luck doing that, I say. 

Anyway, guys, about your mag collection.  Most women, when they first visit your apartment, are curious.  Curious about the hygiene [especially in the bathroom]; but mainly curious about you, what kind of person you are.  Some nice artwork or good books or intellectual magazines like Science or Atlantic strategically placed makes a good impression.  But she's also looking for evidence of other women having been present. 

[Tip: if your previous guest left her panties hanging on the towel rod, then maybe you ought to put it in the top of the closet; chances are, they're dry by now!]

A lads' magazine or two is usually okay, particularly if it's with other types that might denote a wide range of interests.  If it's not, are you sure you want her as girlfriend material?  She's going to be highly critical of other of your habits that she will declare to be bad.  But don't go overboard.  A stack of them screams "pathetic loser" or that W word that the English yobs love to use!
As for the other magazines, try for a mixture that signals a wide range of interests or accomplishments.  Symbolically, it's putting your intellect in view.  But, for God's sake, DON'T just go out and buy intelligent magazines.  You might cause her to try to discuss that subject matter!


Okay, in small quantities!


Bilbo said...

Nowadays it may be difficult to evaluate the gentleman if he has all his magazines on his e-reader. When I visit a new place, one of the first things I look for is the type of books on the shelves and CDs next to the sound system. Unfortunately, with the dawn of the e-reader and the mp3 player, this makes it much harder to get a feel for the person.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Hmmm....using e-readers to stash the porn. Excellent idea!

Mike said...

She would find Popular Science and Popular Mechanics at my house. She better be ready to talk about working on electrical wiring.

John Hill said...

I'm just glad that I don't have to worry about this stuff.

Grand Crapaud said...

Closets were made to store the old magazines.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

However the lads may want to hide the more..erm...graphic lads mags.

I have to wonder, looking at the cover of that Maxim...geeze..that's about as natural looking as a cover of Cosmo

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Bilbo -- I guess an e-reader can hide the bad stuff.

Elvis -- Good idea.

Mike -- Those are good respectable magazines for guys.

John Hill -- Good going!

Crapaud -- Old National Geographics?

Mistress of Dark -- What! Cosmo's cover isn't real?