Staging the First Blind Date

With the advent of internet-arranged dating, the problem of locating an appropriate place for that all-important blind date has become very acute. Very clearly, the setting and activity should be chosen with care. An injudicious choice may potentially put off who might be otherwise be Mr. or Ms. Right. We have to take both the Zeitgeist and local custom into account. For example, it doesn't take a rocket scientist or even an assistant professor of sociology to decide that meeting in a bar is probably not a wise choice!

Nor is scheduling a first date at a political rally, either -- unless both of you happen to be die-hard partisans. In that case, you probably deserve each other; just don't breed, okay? Nor is going to church. Now being religious is okay, and attending church is also; but many people are put off by fanaticism in whatever form. Always think of the Big Picture: too strong an initial impression can be counterproductive.

 

Likewise, you should not plan that first date for a 'Gentlemen's Club,' especially on Amateur Night! That might be a serious off-putter, except in New Jersey where it is de rigeur. Anyway, most of us do not deal very well with unexpected costume changes.

 

The usual choices are to have the first encounter in a public place, such as a small restaurant or a coffee shop. Starbuck's and Barnes and Noble are two common choices, but they're really for the timid.

 

One first date I had was with a guy who took me to a Star Trek convention! Imagine the eViL pOp TaRt amid the hordes of Trekkies, dressed in whatever outlandish costumes and wearing strange headgear and saying such bon mots as "Beam me up Scotty" and "May the Force be with you." [I know that came from Star Wars, but they didn't.] But I should not criticize: I've done cosplay myself in various anime guises. Anyway, my Trekkie b.f. turned out to be very dominant and was excessively directive for my then 17-year-old rebellious self. I was not open to correction regarding my church attendance, politics, or even swimwear without the requisite ring on the left hand. Women and girls are funny that way.

 

Another first date was to a car show. Now I'm not into cars that much, except for providing transportation. There were a lot of girls in bathing suits there, for some reason which escapes me. Also, since I was wearing a skirt, I was disinclined to crawl under and examine the automobiles' bottoms like so many of the audience tended to do. 

 

Bowling is a wise choice; unless you have a blind date with a deb (in your dreams, Sluggo!). But be sure not to order her a Bud. At least, spring for a Michelob or a Lowenbrau, as gay as those beers might be.

 

A mall as a setting for a first date is appropriate if you are going with a sk8r boi, but I'm no sk8r grrl, or even a sk8r gurl! As a matter of fact, my minimal standards for guys includes their wearing baseball caps in the manner that any self-respecting Cubs outfielder would wear it. But, malls are quite boring, unless you wish to make him deliberately uncomfortable by dragging him into Victoria's Secret. 

 

Can you imagine going on a first date to a party in an anatomy lab? Who dreams of those things? Is this how doctors' wives are selected? Actually, I had once been engaged to a med student pre-Katrina and nothing otherwise weird happened in that lab.  Surprisingly, I did not faint.

 

The best one I had was for feeding the ducks. It provides a focus; was non-threatening a setting, and it allowed the real people to come out without the veneer of social pretense.