Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Cowgirl Melinda, the Goose Wrangler

In a time of underemployment for cattle hands, it sometimes takes ingenuity to find a temporary job. Cowgirl Melinda was in just that kind of situation, so she looked through the usual trade publications and even Craigslist (she had internet skills). Alas, no hiring for drovers at that time, and she was completely unsuited for being a saloon girl, being of impeccable virtue. Besides, she would take it out by drinking the stock!  And she had no typing skills.

However, she noticed an item that intrigued her: "Goose girl needed. Liberal hours, usual benefit package, health insurance. Inquire in person at [address] But what is a goose girl, anyway?

It turns out that a goose girl is usually a teen who is hired to herd geese by poking them with a stout stick. The stick also serves as protection for the goose girl against her charges. Well, Melinda was a bit beyond being a teen; but she was very peruasive, particularly when she was wearing a shooting iron! They hired Cowgirl Melinda to be, as she put it, a goose wrangler.

And she did it, despite the fact that when she drove her herd, or flock, to town some varmint occasionally was rash enough to laugh. But Cowgirl Melinda gave him dancing lessons, using bullets from her .44!

Once some goose rustlers tried to cut some geese from the herd, but Melinda fired her trusty shotgun with both barrels filled will nails!  She needed an extra pair of drinks that evening; the fact that even the outlaws were losing class got to her.  While driving her herd, she sang cowboy songs to them in the evening to soothe them.  They honked appreciatively.

"Get along, little goosie, it's your misfortune and none of my own." 

Cowgirl Melinda drew the line at eating paté. No siree! Good Texas Chili for her, and not that sissy Cincinnati chili, either!


Nothing Sacred, as Usual said...

I like this character and would like for you to use her again.

Mike said...

I thought a goose girl would be sort of like a wedgy guy.

Grand Crapaud said...

I'm sure Cowgirl Melinda would be delighted to experience a goosing.

I'm With Stupid said...

I like girls who can handle multiple types of weapons.


Big Sky Heidi said...

We have a few of these intrepid cowgirls here in MT. They don't mind a rough ride of either type.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I like girls who are flexible and who like chili as it should be made.

Grenouille Fille said...

A six-shooter is to be well-equpped for the goose girl.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Mike and GC -- Goosing will raise a squawk!

Heidi and Elvis -- It pays to be flexible, both on the trail and after

Sacred -- Thank you

Jay -- At least small arms

Anonymous said...

Cowgirl Melinda is hot!

Bilbo said...

Playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" with my grandchildren will never be the same.