Thursday, October 13, 2011

Pursuing the Great North American Geek

As a not-yet-desperate unmarried woman, I can still afford to be somewhat selective in my pursual of a suitable mate, and not just simply go with the leavings of my more successful sisters in this quest. I have found that certain unnamed categories of males (I will discreetly remain unspecific here, pardon me!) have certain drawbacks while the sleeper in the possible choices happens to be the Great North American Geek.

Yes. Geeks do make good lovers. But you have to enter their specialized habitats and catch their attention. With regard to habitat, you should be more specific than simply a trip to Best Buy on the weekend where the Geek Wannabees congregate and drool over the computer toys. No, a trade show or a school of engineering is a more productive setting. Ladies, you're not likely to catch a geek at a highbrow film festival! For the sci-fi or anime geeks, going to a convention or cosplay event is going in the right place. Hint: dress in costume if you want to draw a cute otaku; especially some alluring anime girl costume. (Guess who I prefer to go as . . . .)

And be able to talk the talk and walk the walk. (No, I don't hang out with sportswriters any longer!) Geeks do like kindred spirits of the opposite sex who share their interests and can discuss those topics intelligently but regards him as having superior expertise in those matters. In other words, don't be the helpless or dumb female; but one who seems to grasp most of what he is saying. Yes, pretend that you don't quite know as much as him. Despite their deferential manners, geeks have egos that need stroking also. Cookery is always foolproof in attracting and keeping a guy. Fortunately, their standards are usually very low, as they are used to eating a lot of junk food. Therefore, homemade cookies or muffins or (wow!) a home-cooked meal can usually lock them in. Consider ramen noodles as a nostalgia item for some of them.

Geeks like movie dates, especially sci-fi or anime movies. They are not so much into blood and guts, so your appetite is not likely to be lost by the entertainment. Movies have the additional advantage for them in that they don't have to talk to their dates a lot. However, they can be persuaded to branch out. For example, paintball is usually appealing to them. The water slide at the amusement park is also entertaining for them, both because its see-worthy opportunities and because they can calculate the physics of the process.

Here's something to expect when you date a Great North American Geek: He will bring you to where his friends are, and they will look at you with some awe. Some might even venture to touch you to verify that you are real, quite respectfully, of course! Obviously, you come away feeling strange, like you are a goddess for the day! Treat this with good humor, and prepare for it by wearing some really charming perfume. Some might actually try to smell your hair!

Geeks can be induced to accompany you in shopping provided you also schedule sufficient time in the computer, camera, or electronics stores. And, of course, they are very willing to help you shop for swimwear, particularly if you model the possibilities for them. May you have a successful hunt for these elusive creatures!


Svejk said...

Best wishes in your pursuit! Don't play hard to get with them. Indulge their fantasies.

Anemone said...

Geeks are very appreciative of any attention and affection you give them. Jocks are overindulged (and oversexed). Skaters and rednecks can be dangerous to be around; and your reputation is shot.

Go braless. They'll notice.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thank you for your advice,

I was writing a take-off on a Cosmo article.

Bilbo said...

Just my luck ... I was a geek about 40 years too soon. And Anemone has a point. Two of them, actually.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

A bikini works on me.

Grand Crapaud said...

Moral: Geeks are easy.