Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Al Gator Visits the State Employment Office

Caseworker: "Good morning, Mr. Gator."

Al Gator: "Morning, Ma'am."

Caseworker: "I've been looking over your application for employment. First of all, what's your complete name?"

Al Gator: "Ma'am, do we have to go there?"

Caseworker: "Yes, Mr. Gator. We need that to have everything in order; and also because you need a Social Security number. Your FULL name is?"

Al Gator: "Alvin. Alvin, er. Alvin, er, er, er . . . . Hippolyte." [Even green saurians can blush.]

Caseworker: [suppresses giggle] "Okay, now, that wasn't so bad. Now let's see. You are indeed going to be difficult one to place; but I'll take this as a challenge since you obviously have made an effort to obtain employment." [Glances significantly at spit-shined shoes and Brooks Brother suit.]

"You have no education. That makes it hard. You declare that you can remain motionless for hours. You list your skills as being able to eat anything, laying around a pond while surrounded by slime, being able to drink a lot, and not be easily bored. You further assert that you have a strong jaw, and will swallow anything in the line of duty. Hmmm . . . . those are certainly skills; but they have a limited marketability. You report no experience with manual labor.

Al Gator: "No, but I knew his brother and sister, Miguel and Rosita."

Caseworker: "We might have a misconnection here. I urge you to be serious! The workplace is serious, and you have to be prompt and come reliably. Somehow, I don't see you in construction, or in office work, or in sales. Uh, you're a tough one!

"I know! This is the right job for you! You can be a lobbyist at the State Capital."

1 comment:

Big Sky Heidi said...

Good idea! Lobbyists, like alligators, can lie motionless in pond scum for hours.