Friday, May 6, 2016

Research on Breast Size Preferences

It is well-known that men (and teen boys) have this fascination with female breasts, as can be seen with the popularity of Playboy-type magazines, breastaurants, and television programs. Undeniably, this is a factor in mate selection; but it's no simple equation: larger = better! Fortunately, psychologists in institutions with research funds to burn and permissive human subjects committees have attempted to discern some major truths in this matter. 

There are practical considerations to go with this interest: (1) the average bra size of an adult woman has dramatically increased from 34B to 34DD in the past 20 years or so; (2) more than 250,000 women per year receive breast augmentation procedures. Clearly, there is a significant trend going on.

So what do we know about men who prefer them large, as opposed to those who have more modest preferences? Lots of things:

(1) Hungry men prefer larger breasts, according to Malaysian researchers Swami and Tovée. This may relate to food supply insecurity. They are most strongly fixated on bigger hooters before meals, and less so later. (This could be exploited by television programming.)

(2) Sexist men prefer larger breasted women. This translates into traits as preferring traditional femininity, hostility towards women, and benevolent sexism. We can infer, therefore, that less well-endowed women might draw fewer jerks!

(3) Men who more strongly want to become fathers prefer larger breasts on women; men who are not as inclined prefer smaller breasts on their ladies.

(4) Financially more secure men tend to prefer smaller breasts on women, while those less secure tend to prefer them bigger. Is this a form of compensation?

Interestingly, a woman's breast size had no effect on the amount of time males' eyes tracked her chest. In other words: whether you're large or small, the eyes of Texas are upon (your boobs)! 

Ladies, the fact that you have breasts that might be stared at by guys might confer certain health benefits to them. Therefore, you might consider yourself a gratis health care provider!

Here is another health care provider taking advantage of this technique of alternative medicine:

Finally, research on breast implant size chosen for augmentation surgery indicated that size chosen was affected by current breast volume, goals, body habits, and possible breast sagging. In the warmer states like Texas, Florida, and California, average implant size ranges from 300 cc. to 425 cc. In the Midwest and Northeast, breast implant size ranges from 250 cc. to 350 cc. In Europe and Asia, the average breast implant size ranges from 200 cc. to 300 cc.

In the United States, most women who choose breast augmentation surgery aspire to C-cup breasts.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Cowgirl Melinda Muses on Politics, 2016 Style

Sometimes on the prairie a gal gets time to think away from the blare of media coverage of election politics up to one's wazoo. Holy cow; don't they make whiskey or at least chill pills do deal with such excesses! Anyway, some lonesome cowboys came to the chuckwagon with notions, both about good chuck and making a play for Melinda. But . . . . they are no showers on the prairie and everyone smells like cows.

So they told lies and talked about politics. Or lied about politics, which is par for 2016.

This got Melinda into some talking.

"Ya know, Shorty, those tame Eastern politicians have some crazy notions."

"How so, Sweet Buns?"

After throwing a biscuit at Shorty, Melinda discoursed. 

"Well, first of all, what's this about building an 1800-mile wall across the desert to keep people out? Why not build a barbed wire fence between South Dakota and Wyoming to keep the eastern varmints out?"

Pecos Larry said, "Now that's a good notion to chew on. And how about those people confused as to where they want to pee?"

"Now that's a strange question. Pee where you want; just don't go behind a bush occupied by someone else."

"Now this Bernie Sanders fella wants to send everyone to college. What you think of that?"

"We gotta think more about that wild notion. After all, these people running for office went to such places as Princeton, Yale, Chicago, and Wharton, wherever the hell that is. How come they keep such strange notions? Next thing, they're thinking like crazy Coloradans after smoking that legal locoweed. Where's all the money coming from?" They're going to tax us more till we squeal! And then tax the squeal!"

Shorty said he couldn't make out those superdelegates, What super powers did they have?

"Shoot . . . . ponder! Their superpower is not having to listen to the common lot like us, never mind what the voters say. Think of them as big mules 'cause they're plumb stubborn."

One of the cowpokes said he could never keep straight why some people get fewer convention votes despite getting more votes at the polls. 

Melinda interpreted it thusly, "Politics is like playing poker with a rigged deck. And I don't play no strip poker; just penny ante hands. People who play politics should always remember it's like playing poker in a crooked house."

Shorty just had an idea he couldn't get out of his craw. "What about all the newspaper and television reporters reporting so much on the candidates, Melinda?"

"Listen up, Bucko. No one can resist being paid to watch a train wreck or a strip show."

Monday, April 25, 2016

A Statue Without Bird Poop

There's an ancient statue of Yamato Takeru no Mikoto in a garden in Japan that has an epic distinction: unlike other out-of-doors statues, it is singularly unmarred by pigeon or other bird poop! Now that is extraordinary! 

A scientist, Yukio Hirose of Kanazawa University, observed this non-phenomenon and set out to determine why. Was it the severe visage of Yamato that frightened the birds? Or it some kind of oriental magic? Professor Hirose looked instead into natural causes. For example, could it be something in the statue's substance that made it unattractive for birds to roost and poop there?

A minute chemical analysis of the statue yielded that it was bronze, but laced with arsenic! Could this be the culprit? Professor Hirose did an experiment. He prepared sheets of bronze with the same amount of arsenic in it, and they too became bird-repellant! 

Yukio Hirose saw an interesting fact, and went beyond it into looking why this didn't happen. Sometimes discoveries come to people who have the good sense to ask why! 

For his discovery, he was awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 2004.

And, who knows? Maybe we will one day see an equestrian statue of President Trump or President Clinton on the Washington Mall, completely unsullied with bird poop! Some people will call that a miracle! Can they ride horsies?

Friday, April 22, 2016

Equality in Spring Break / Swimsuit Coverage

It's almost an annual thing for the media; much like those end-of-the-year lists or light items during the silly season. Each Spring it's time for them to avail themselves in that for sure readership or viewership elevation: pictures of college students relaxing, partying, or sunbathing on the beaches of warmer places. (Do they do Spring Break on Lake Huron or Cape Cod?) And 80% - 85% of the scenes feature girls in bikinis.

But I think it's high time to give us ladies equal viewing pleasure. How about at least parity by having at least half of the pictures featuring hot guys? Now that is something that a lot of us could go for.

Strangely enough, seems to be doing its part with their guy/gal quotient. But come on, other media forms, do your part too! Is this some kind of sex bias in editorial decisions that makes this unequivocal bias taking place? It seems that there is some sex bias even in the so-called progressive newspapers and staid conservative outlets. Both types do like to sugar coat their coverage of Spring Break by mimicking sounds of disapproval to satisfy the essential puritanism of their audiences, but we know where their hearts and minds are, don't we?

Maybe the ancestor of all of this emphasis on female bodies to the non-coverage of males' bods, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, should be persuaded into a swimsuit issue featuring both women and men wearing skimpy swimsuits or body paint. That would be a real giant step on the path to sexual equality! 

This is my 1000th post. It took me six years to do it!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

"Sweet Susannah" Battle of the Bands Results

This Battle of the Bands "Sweet Susannah" edition came out with some surprises but mixed opinions.

The emergent winner turned out to be the version offered by The Flying Burrito Brothers, a version that I came to like more with each playing. Anyway, they garnered 8 votes from the participants.

The Kris Kristofferon / Rita Coolidge effort was not without support with their more conventional 1970's country duet style. Five votes were cast for them.

Apparently, some may have issues with Kris Kristofferson, who has been inclined to be self-indulgent in some of his songs.

Clint West brought up the rear with 3 votes.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Lady Chatterley's Lover Review

Lady Chatterley's Lover was written by D. H. Lawrence in 1928 and was considered obscene soon after it was published. It was the topic of an obscenity trial in 1959. This surprising review appeared in Field and Stream back then:

"Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley's Lover has just been reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages on pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin, and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper. Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer's opinion the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's 'Practical Gamekeeping.'''

Despite being in a column entitled "Exit Laughing," some people took this little item written by Ed Zern as serious. In fact, it's a masterpiece of satire.

By the way, there is no such book as "Practical Gamekeeping." 

Monday, April 18, 2016

Coaching from the Sidelines

There's something about a crisp, sunny Spring morning that calls for a little run.

Donning a running outfit and running shoes, going to a popular greenway alongside a street, and communing by putting as much of nature past you as you feel like. It's before the noonday sun bears down, and there's a little moisture still in the air so I figure I'll pass on wearing a light jacket along with my shorts and tee.

Dew is still on the grass, and light moisture still in the air. Stillness prevails. In all, it's a fine morning for a run along the side of the road. Going for the burn before breakfast!

And then the sound of brakes. A jeering voice: "Hey, Bay-bee! You got-a some nice legs." Outside of shin splints or blisters, this is the occasional blight of the runner. The catcalling creep.

Yes, another sighting/hearing of Anus americanus vulgaris: The common American asshole. Still, you can't physically confront these overstuffed specimens, just hope that they will go on their merry, obtuse ways. 

No, he is a dawdling pest. Now he goes, "Hup, two, three, four!" in full volume at me.

So I did the ill-advised: I shot him the digital avain.

Screech! He came to a sudden stop, and got out out of his car. Like wow! He's a big bloke!

I ran across the neutral ground, and dared him to get me.

He finds out he's not up to a chase. Being called 'lardass' doesn't improve his mood.

Runner 1, Heckler 0.