Wednesday, April 10, 2019

The Unusual Christening Gown

It's Sunday, and like in other Catholic churches over the world, it's time for the Christening of infants into the mother church. This is both a solemn and festive occasion. Infants of a few weeks are brought to the Baptistry to be sprinkled with holy water and be received into the Church! And the new members of the Holy Church are decked out in their splendid baptismal gowns: traditionally white; however, some highlights of color have recently begun to appear.

Father Devereaux, Pastor of St. Cletus's Parish, lately noticed white Christening gowns with trim in purple and gold or black and gold -- but mostly in the Fall. He thought "Tigers fan or Saints fan"; but it was okay since word did not reach the Archbishop of these departures from custom. He was willing to let it slide. And, besides, there is no canonical prescription as to what Christening gowns should be like.* 

After all, Fr. D. was quite willing to shift the time for the last mass to be at 11:45; all with the view of allowing late attendees to still get out in time for the Saints kickoff!

Well, one Sunday Father Devereaux got a bodacious surprise. One of the infant girls was decked out in a baptismal gown of green, silver, and black! Now this caused him consternation? Was this an underhanded way of getting Satanic practices to contaminate a most sacred ritual, or are they practitioners of Voodoo? No way to know; so he went ahead with the ritual, halfway expecting comeback from the Archdiocese. The fact that the proud Grandpa referred to her as "my little Iggle" unsettled him further. Was This some Satanic code word?

He asked Mycroft, aka The Lucky Dog Guy, what was it all about; but this encyclopedia of folklore was not able to answer. Likewise Madeline the Prophetess and Suzette the Existential Stripper all drew blanks.

So next day he asked his Baptist compadre, Brother Bob, what it's all about. Since this was a Potentially Serious Matter, they decamped to Uptown, far away from their congregations' locales and a place where they could get a bracing drink or two without censure from their congregationalists!

Bob, at first, was puzzled. Particularly over the meaning of the colors. But then it all became clear when the Good Padre Tim asked if the child being referred to as 'our little Iggle' meant something devilish.  Bob shook his head, and said, "You got a problem, Tim, but it's not a devil problem." And he told them what the problem was, and what team had those colors.

Tim said, "Oh well, it could be worse. They could have dressed her in Dallas Cowboys colors! That would have caused a scandal!"

*Supposedly, Baptism was performed in the early church on candidates who were stark naked as jaybirds; this may have had the effect of increasing attendance for this ceremony. Even today, some more exotic sects are said to do this as well.

[As an aside: why are jaybirds singled out as examples of nudity; only penguins dress up?



7 comments:

John A Hill said...

Now I'm curious...
Traditional white for your own little one's baptism, or something less traditional?

Mike said...

So I had to look up the Philidelphia Eagles. But the Dallas Stars hockey team has those colors also. And their mascot is a thing called Victor E. Green.

Duckbutt said...

OMG! You're back! Post more.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

John, we opted for traditional white. Some things are not to be messed with!

Cloudia said...

GREAT! Congratuations! No wonder you have been too busy to post here! You have been missed. Thank you for you comment - so wonderful to see you ANYTIME, Angel! Best wishes! <3

Big Sky Heidi said...

Wonderful news! Let's have the particulars too.

Insane Penguin said...

Sometimes going with tradition works well.