Friday, May 26, 2017

Gifts for the Postman

The Postman Charlie was making his rounds on the last day before his retirement after 35 years on the job.

He had just delivered the mail at the Smith house, the last one on his route, and turned around to go back to the post office when he heard the door open and a voice say:

"Charlie, wait a minute."

He turned around and saw Sally Smith in the doorway. She was wearing a flimsy robe.

"Yes, Mrs. Smith?" Charlie said.

"Please ... call me Sally. Okay?" she said.


"I heard that you're retiring."

"Yep. Today's my last day."

"Wait there, Charlie. I have some things for you."

She went into the house and came back with a cake.

"It's a chocolate marble cake. If I'm right, you told me once that it was your favorite."

"It is, Sally. Thanks."

"I also have something else for you," Sally said and gave him an envelope.

He opened it and found a card wishing him well during his retirement and a $20 bill.

"Thanks for all the gifts," he said.

"Charlie ... I have one more gift for you."

She opened her robe and revealed to Charlie that she was naked underneath it. She put her arms around him, gave him a big French kiss, and began to grind against him.

She then took him by the hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom, where for the rest of the afternoon it was:


When they were through, Charlie said to Sally, "I appreciate the cake and the card and the $20, and that great sex we had, but ... I wonder why you went through all that for me?"

Sally said, "Last week I was talking to my husband about what to give you for your retirement. He said, 'Screw the postman. Give him a card with some money in it.'"

She paused, then added:

"But the cake was my idea."


John Holton said...


Cloudia said...

Fun interlude for them and us!

Mike said...

Literalists keep life interesting.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Nice story!

allenwoodhaven said...

Great joke, well told!

Bilbo said...

I didn't get gifts like that when I retired. I must live in the wrong neighborhood.

John Hill said...

I didn't get that kind of retirement gift.
But it's not too late if anyone is interested!

Gorilla Bananas said...

What an obedient wife Sally was. Other wives wouldn't have waited for the instruction before screwing the postman.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

That reminds me of something Adrian Rogers once said:

"A man wrote a woman one letter a day for two years.
She ended up marrying... the mailman."

~ D-FensDogG
Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

Grand Crapaud said...

That was a happy sendoff!