Since so many are running for office, I'd throw my hat in the ring, following a suggestion by Mike:
eViL pOp TaRt for Sainthood!
1. Short novenas!
2. Fun holy days with feasting!
3. Get out of Hell free cards with special application!
4. Equal opportunity salvation for Democrats, Republicans, and Libertarians!
I figure that the bar for sainthood, as well as the Presidency or Congress has been lowered of late. Lord knows, I'm not up to the martyrdom or virgin route!