Monday, November 16, 2015

Another Statue of a Bug

Well, some of the good citizens of Ferndale, NJ were concerned about their lack of civic prominence, unlike such enterprising places like Ho-Ho-Kus, Perth Amboy, and Newark. No, it had an unnoticeable name, it had no heavy industry to speak of, and no famous television characters depicted as operating there. But what to do?

Well, Tony the Tiger, a regular guy and an insect and rat exterminator, thought that Ferndale needed another statue to add to its modest urban statuary of The Last Virgin and The Unknown Made Man. He wondered about one an equestrian monument to Gov. Christie, but expected that it would cause traffic jams.

Obviously, Tony was getting nowhere fast. So he looked a little deeper until he found the example of the boll weevil monument in Enterprise, Alabama. He thought with envy, "This is a community that managed to make a lemonade out of a lemon"

But he remained fixated on bugs. But what kind of bug? Something industrious like bees or ants? Or something pretty, like butterflies or ladybugs?

No, while there were all good examples, they didn't quite fit. Anyway, he didn't want to be known as exterminator of bees, butterflies, and ladybugs!

But then he found one that looked interesting: the brown marmorated stink bug (Halyomorpha halys)! Recently New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Virginia had severe infestations of these woefully-named species. As a bonus, the statue could also advertise his business.

Thus Ferndale made the nightly news and, even better,

Where they particularly are infested (red coloration).


TexWisGirl said...

i know several bloggers in those parts that complain about the stinkbugs each year. :)

eViL pOp TaRt said...

They live up to their name! Creepy bugs.

Mike said...

I've seen a few of them but there are not many of them around here.

John Hill said...

Wonder if that Victoria's Secret perfume would counter the stink or repel them all together!

allenwoodhaven said...

They try to get inside when it gets cold and can number in the hundreds. Fortunately I only have to deal with a few every year.

I hadn't heard of Ferndale. My phone tells me it's 45 minutes away. I won't be rushing to see the statue!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

The come up through the drains, even.

Gorilla Bananas said...

That is one ugly insect, but I don't doubt its nutritional value. Isn't Tony the Tiger a cartoon character who advertised a breakfast cereal?

BBC said...

Stink bugs are no big deal, had them in parts of Washington state and they wasn't much of a bother. But last spring I moved to Texas and there are more fucking bugs that want to eat you here than I can shake my dick at.

Cherdo said...

The map should have a specific color for kitchen window dwellers. There's always one getting inside and hanging out in the kitchen window at my hosue.