Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Starter Marriages, Starter Candidates, and Other Temporaries

In viewing the Republican process of selecting a Presidential candidate for 2012 it seems to be a logical progression of a trend already recognized in other areas.

Years ago, realtors successfully introduced the idea of the "starter home;" effectively persuading couples that they should "trade up" residences to go with increased family size or affluence.  After all, the prospect of a young married couple growing gracefully or otherwise in the same home all their lives was a prospect that did not please.  Then the idea of "starter marriage" came into popular usage.  Some if it was an offshoot of the sexual revolution: if Missy and Junior were to be "doing it," then they could do so without embarassing the family by being in a temporary marriage!  And if it didn't work out, then it would be water under the bridge. 

We didn't call it then, but I suppose we had "starter boyfriends."  Or maybe they were like our bikes with training wheels on them.  And most of us had temporary jobs, not hopefully our final calling.  And (nearly) half of us have the experience of training bras!  Actually, it did make one feel grown-up, of sorts.  Well, after a week, they started to be the annoyance that they are.

Anyway, we have the spectacle of the Republican de jour -- depending on the vocalizations of the fanboys and fangirls in the G.O.P., as well as the playahs in the media who relish in their ill-conceived roles as kingmakers.  Unfortunately, it's a Tall Poppy Syndrome condition in play: whoever is in the lead, there are others who are very willing to find fault with that person and see him cut down to size.  And some of them manage to give their critics the means.

What a motely crew!  There's the Fig Newton guy, and the Massachuetts guy, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, and the tin hat squad.  And President Obama.  But his court jester Joe Biden and his loathsome henchpersons Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lurking around.  To paraphrase the Duke of Wellington, "I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me." 

And there's the fact that whoever is the final Republican nominee has to win the party nomination first; therefore, he has to appeal to a limited, right-leaning portion of the spectrum.  A broader spectrum is apt to vote on election day.  Therefore, they are in a sort of dilemma: to they vote with their hearts, or with their heads.  The heads in many cases have joined the unemployed.

The Democrats will have this same problem in 2016.  I figure Obama will be their nominee in 2012, but there's no bright star on the horizon.   Since he can't have more than two terms, they are going to have to go through a similar process.

As for us, I look for a seemingly endless number of telephone calls for "polls" and to extol candidates.  It's like playing post office with third-class males.

Maybe as we decide on our favorite candidate, we could get panties with his/her name emblazoned on the backside.  Now this cheeky action might be very appropriate!  Perhaps Victoria's Secret could get into the act.

I wish I could write in Bobby Jindal.  He's bright, honest, and attractive.  But that's just a reverie.


Randomly Rachel said...

They're all a bunch of losers, like our senator and former governor.

Big Sky Heidi said...

I'd rasther have "Juicy" on my ass than Newt.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I guess I was a starter boyfriend too many times. Got thrown out at second. :(

Bilbo said...

Sadly, in the political arena I don't see any candidates worth trading up to from the starter model. We have a whole showroom full of Edsels, and a cul-de-sac full of tarpaper shacks. I think I'd rather just vote for Heidi.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Rachel -- I agree. And the thought of Al Franken and Jesse Ventura is too skeery for words.

Elvis -- I've been a starter girlfriend a few times also.

Heidi -- My ass is not big enough for "None of them."

Bilbo: Edsels, Pintos, and other candidates for a redneck demolition derby!

Banana Oil said...

Isn't Bobby Jindal the guy that SNL satirized?