In Victorian times, before air conditioning was invented, women often carried large, elaboratelty-decorated fans, with lace, colored pictures, and other neat designs. They soon found that it was possible to communicate subtly with young men, by sending covert, yet demure messages, using these fans.
Here are the generally accepted usages of the language of the fan:
1. CARRYING THE OPEN FAN IN THE RIGHT HAND:"You are too willing."
2. CARRYING THE OPEN FAN IN THE LEFT HAND: "Come and talk to me."
3. THE FAN PLACED NEAR THE HEART:"You have won my love."
4. A CLOSED FAN TOUCHING THE RIGHT EYE: "When may I be allowed to see you?"
5. THE NUMBER OF STICKS SHOWN ANSWERED THE QUESTION: At what hour?"
6. THREATENING MOVEMENTS WITH A FAN CLOSED: Do not be so imprudent"
7. HALF-OPENED FAN PRESSED TO THE LIPS: "You may kiss me."
8. HANDS CLASPED TOGETHER HOLDING AN OPEN FAN: "Forgive me."
9.. COVERING THE LEFT EAR WITH AN OPEN FAN: "Do not betray our secret."
10. FANNING SLOWLY:"I am married."
11. FANNING QUICKLY:"I am engaged."
12. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE EYES: "I am sorry."
13. TOUCHING THE FINGER TO THE TIP OF THE FAN: "I wish to speak with you."
14. LETTING THE FAN REST ON THE RIGHT CHEEK: "Yes."
15. LETTING THE FAN REST ON THE LEFT CHEEK: "No."
16. OPENING AND CLOSING THE FAN SEVERAL TIMES: "You are cruel"
17. DROPPING THE FAN: "We will be friends."
18. OPENING A FAN WIDE: "Wait for me."
19. PLACING THE FAN BEHIND THE HEAD: "Do not forget me"
20. PLACING THE FAN BEHIND THE HEAD WITH FINGER EXTENDED: "Goodbye."
21. TWIRLING THE FAN IN THE LEFT HAND: "We are being watched."
22. FAN IN RIGHT HAND IN FRONT OF FACE: Follow me."
23. FAN IN LEFT HAND IN FRONT OF FACE: "I am desirous of your acquaintance."
24. FAN HELD OVER LEFT EAR: "I wish to get rid of you."
25. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE FOREHEAD:"You have changed."
26. HIDING THE EYES BEHIND AN OPEN FAN: "I love you."
27. SHUTTING A FULLY OPENED FAN SLOWLY: "I promise to marry you."
28. TWIRLING THE FAN IN THE RIGHT HAND:"I love another."
29. DRAWING THE FAN THROUGH THE HAND: "I hate you!"
30. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE CHEEK: "I love you!"
31. PRESENTING THE FAN SHUT: "Do you love me?"
32. PUTTING THE FAN HANDLE TO THE LIPS: "Kiss me."
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These were the old, official Victorian usages. Obviously, with cultural evolution and changes in mores, things change. Thus it was with the language of the fan:
Here are the generally accepted usages of the language of the fan:
1. CARRYING THE OPEN FAN IN THE RIGHT HAND:"You are too willing."
2. CARRYING THE OPEN FAN IN THE LEFT HAND: "Come and talk to me."
3. THE FAN PLACED NEAR THE HEART:"You have won my love."
4. A CLOSED FAN TOUCHING THE RIGHT EYE: "When may I be allowed to see you?"
5. THE NUMBER OF STICKS SHOWN ANSWERED THE QUESTION: At what hour?"
6. THREATENING MOVEMENTS WITH A FAN CLOSED: Do not be so imprudent"
7. HALF-OPENED FAN PRESSED TO THE LIPS: "You may kiss me."
8. HANDS CLASPED TOGETHER HOLDING AN OPEN FAN: "Forgive me."
9.. COVERING THE LEFT EAR WITH AN OPEN FAN: "Do not betray our secret."
10. FANNING SLOWLY:"I am married."
11. FANNING QUICKLY:"I am engaged."
12. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE EYES: "I am sorry."
13. TOUCHING THE FINGER TO THE TIP OF THE FAN: "I wish to speak with you."
14. LETTING THE FAN REST ON THE RIGHT CHEEK: "Yes."
15. LETTING THE FAN REST ON THE LEFT CHEEK: "No."
16. OPENING AND CLOSING THE FAN SEVERAL TIMES: "You are cruel"
17. DROPPING THE FAN: "We will be friends."
18. OPENING A FAN WIDE: "Wait for me."
19. PLACING THE FAN BEHIND THE HEAD: "Do not forget me"
20. PLACING THE FAN BEHIND THE HEAD WITH FINGER EXTENDED: "Goodbye."
21. TWIRLING THE FAN IN THE LEFT HAND: "We are being watched."
22. FAN IN RIGHT HAND IN FRONT OF FACE: Follow me."
23. FAN IN LEFT HAND IN FRONT OF FACE: "I am desirous of your acquaintance."
24. FAN HELD OVER LEFT EAR: "I wish to get rid of you."
25. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE FOREHEAD:"You have changed."
26. HIDING THE EYES BEHIND AN OPEN FAN: "I love you."
27. SHUTTING A FULLY OPENED FAN SLOWLY: "I promise to marry you."
28. TWIRLING THE FAN IN THE RIGHT HAND:"I love another."
29. DRAWING THE FAN THROUGH THE HAND: "I hate you!"
30. DRAWING THE FAN ACROSS THE CHEEK: "I love you!"
31. PRESENTING THE FAN SHUT: "Do you love me?"
32. PUTTING THE FAN HANDLE TO THE LIPS: "Kiss me."
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These were the old, official Victorian usages. Obviously, with cultural evolution and changes in mores, things change. Thus it was with the language of the fan:
33. COVERING THE HAIR WITH THE FAN: "I am having a bad hair day."
34. HITTING FELLOW ON NOSE: "MY b. s. detector is on."
35. STICKING BLADE OF FAN UP NOSTRIL: "Change your socks."
36. COVERING ENTIRE CHEST WITH OPEN FAN: "Stop staring at my boobs."
37. HOLDING FAN FACE DOWN JUST BELOW MOUTH: "I'm going to hurl."
38. USING FAN TO POKE HIM IN THE RIBS: "Pay attention to me."
39. FANNING QUICKLY: "Passion"
40. FANNING SLOWLY: "Lack of interest"
41. PASSING FAN ACROSS NECK: "You're in for it, Buster!"
42. RESTING FAN AGAINST CHIN: "I don't trust you."
43. HANDLE ON THE CLOSED LIPS: "Kiss me."
44. HANDLE ON THE OPEN LIPS: "Kiss me, à la Française."
45. TAPPING CLOSED FAN ON ITS RIBS: "We have to talk."
46. TAPPING CLOSED FAN ON ITS RIBS RAPIDLY: "We SO have to talk!"
47. WEARING FAN ON TOP OF HEAD: "I am a little tipsy; you may take advantage of me."
48. TOUCHING HALF-OPENED FAN TO OPEN LIPS: "Kiss me, à la Française."
49. HITTING HIM ACROSS MOUTH WITH FAN: "I'm not that kind of girl!"
50. HITTING HIM OVER HEAD WITH FAN REPEATEDLY: "You are in for a world of hurt, Buster!"
34. HITTING FELLOW ON NOSE: "MY b. s. detector is on."
35. STICKING BLADE OF FAN UP NOSTRIL: "Change your socks."
36. COVERING ENTIRE CHEST WITH OPEN FAN: "Stop staring at my boobs."
37. HOLDING FAN FACE DOWN JUST BELOW MOUTH: "I'm going to hurl."
38. USING FAN TO POKE HIM IN THE RIBS: "Pay attention to me."
39. FANNING QUICKLY: "Passion"
40. FANNING SLOWLY: "Lack of interest"
41. PASSING FAN ACROSS NECK: "You're in for it, Buster!"
42. RESTING FAN AGAINST CHIN: "I don't trust you."
43. HANDLE ON THE CLOSED LIPS: "Kiss me."
44. HANDLE ON THE OPEN LIPS: "Kiss me, à la Française."
45. TAPPING CLOSED FAN ON ITS RIBS: "We have to talk."
46. TAPPING CLOSED FAN ON ITS RIBS RAPIDLY: "We SO have to talk!"
47. WEARING FAN ON TOP OF HEAD: "I am a little tipsy; you may take advantage of me."
48. TOUCHING HALF-OPENED FAN TO OPEN LIPS: "Kiss me, à la Française."
49. HITTING HIM ACROSS MOUTH WITH FAN: "I'm not that kind of girl!"
50. HITTING HIM OVER HEAD WITH FAN REPEATEDLY: "You are in for a world of hurt, Buster!"
5 comments:
This almost makes one long for a return of fans. Still, I'll take air conditioning!
Cute cartoon of the girl with a fan.
This was a fascinating and entertaining post. My wife and I are ballroom dancers, and when we go to our weekly dance parties, there are lots of fans in evidence in an attempt to help out the air conditioning. Sadly, I will now never be able to watch a lady fan herself again without wondering if she's talking about me. Thanks. I needed something else to be neurotic about.
Thank you, Bilbo! On the other hand, she could be lightly flirting, and it should be enjoyed! Sometimes the necessities of demureness can be very constraining, but there are ways. Flipping hair is often missed; but licking one's lips is too overt.
Your wife is lucky; most guys would not want to do ballroom dancing.
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