Wednesday, February 9, 2011

When Should Girls and Boys First Date?

This is something that some people get their knickers into a knot about. 

First a little about me, to put things in perspective, I don't believe in casual sleeping around.

Whether you call it dating or hanging out or being seen by someone is your semantic choice: there's an overlap to these terms, or at least not a consistent set of definitions.  I think that this should begin while someone is in her mid-teens, at about the same age as other teens are going out.  First dates are anxiety-generating; they should occur hopefully in as nonintimidating circumstances as possible.  Ideally, it should be with a guy who is new to the scene himself.  For this reason, it is not a good idea to discourage or forbid your daughter to go out until she is 18, or 20, or some other age.  And I think it's not a good idea for her to date someone who is older, anyway. 

Yeah, let her start at about the same age as the other kids.  I think that doing it at that time is important, as the person learns about the opposite sex, how to comport oneself, and how to handle the emotions.  Sports-oriented guys would call it playing on a level playing field.  (Isn't is strange that dating and sports metaphors occur so often?)

When you're going out with a member of the opposite sex, you want to act in an age-appropriate fashion.  In order to do that, you have to have had those experiences so common for that age.  Jumping in as an adult gives you a definite disadvantage.

Let me put it this way.  Suppose you're a 24-year-old woman, going out with a guy of about your same age.  Would you like it if he acted 15, behaviorally or emotionally?

As for sex, maybe not until at least age 18, but that's my opinion.  And, if you don't want a baby, then you all take precautions.  Both of you.  If you're not into planning, you're not mature enough for parenthood.  Basically, that was the advice that Mom gave me.  I'm not sorry I waited until I was 19.  And as for making out, that's part of the learning process.  However, as she did, I do think that when one starts dating, she should have access to the pill and other means.  Yes, I started on the pill when I was 16; and Mom even taught me how to put a condom on a guy's thing by using a broomstick.  (I don't think either of us could have taken more graphicness!)  And a little hints on noncoital means of pleasing a guy wouldn't hurt, either.

Some of you must be mentally measuring me for a scarlet F for my blouse, I guess . . . . and that's your privilege.  But I give my Mom an A+.


Anonymous said...

Good for your mom! Better to go with two kinds of protection.

Siggie said...

Did you have occasion to practice on a live specimen?

eViL pOp TaRt said...


Hell Hound said...

You are wise in these matters, evil one.