Monday, June 25, 2018

A Close Call on LA 69

In the Spring, adolescents' thoughts occasionally turn to the mischievous, and sometimes to the downright illegal. It happened that one year at Bayou Teche High School it became a fad to swipe numbered highway signs.

Now there were more or less implicit rules: like don't swipe stop or caution signs. It was thought to be especially cool to swipe a numbered state highway sign from another part of the state, either to display in one's room, or to nail it publicly in a prominent place.

Needless to say, the state highway maintenance people cast a jaundiced eye on these doings, as did doting parents. Parental decorative schemes did not include such items.

Anyway, Tee Thibodaux and Marie Claire did this nefarious deed and boastfully displayed their ill-gotten gain by nailing it to the main door of the high school so that students coming to class on Monday got to see their handiwork. Word got around quickly enough who the culprits were; even though no adults were privy to that information.

Tee Boudreaux and his girlfriend Big Tina* decided to top Tee Thib and Marie Claire's exploit. Tina figured out how.

Why not shoot for a sign with some meaningful number? -- Now that would be clever. Like LA 1, maybe?

Big Tina, further thought, is there a state Highway 69? If so, why not swipe a Highway 69 sign and switch it with one of a local highway? Okay, okay . . . . but this required a good old-fashioned road trip to get the proper sign.

All the way to Assumption Parish, at that.

Now that particular numeral had somewhat of a cabalistic significance to the younger brethren as signifying true sincerity and affection.  For that reason Big Tina thought it would be an exploit topper.

So early one Friday night, instead of the usual movie and parking afterwards, they took a little ole road trip across the Atchafalaya into the river parishes. Now LA 69 is a short one, as highways go: only 15 miles long. So it was a trick to find a sign in a relatively isolated place. But they did; and parked next to it, and Tina and Boo went at it with a wrench.

They just barely managed to get the nuts off when they noticed a Assumption Parish Deputy car approaching. Oh, double damn!**

Anyway, before removing the sign from the bolts Tina thought immediately,"Boo, kiss me! And hug me like you mean it."

Tee Boudreaux got the general idea; and together they performed a reasonable facsimile of a couple in the throes of passion. It wasn't hard. They had practice.

So the Assumption Parish Deputy pulls up behind Boo's car and asked if they had a problem. Boo and Tina break the clinch, and turn to the officer.

"Nossir . . . . we're just having a moment's discussion."

"Well, you young lovers might park in that Dollar store parking lot some 100 yards up the road. It's safer and more private for your discussion."

"Yessir, Officer. We'll do it right away."

Tee Boo and Big Tina complied; and enjoyed a few moments together courtesy of the Assumption Parish Sheriff's Office and their understanding deputy.

After the deputy went away, they went back and placed the sign in Tee Boo's trunk.

The following night they hung the filched LA 69 sign on a local road near Bayou Teche High School, replacing the highway sign already there. A few of their classmates noticed the number change eventually; but Tee Boo and Big Tina kept mum. The adults in the Grand Teche area merely noted the route number was now different. Everyone assumed it was an official change. In that way they didn't have the impact as expected.





*Known possibly because of her endowment.

**Boo and Tina were nice kids, and didn't cuss much.


14 comments:

John A Hill said...

I had a couple of road signs in my room as a kid. I never had Big Tina as a girlfriend, though!
It's good to hear from you, Angel. I always enjoy your stories.

MarkD60 said...

People used to always stral the Colorodo 420 mile marker sign. It was so ba that Colorodo had to replace them with a 419.9 mile marker sign

MarkD60 said...

steal, not stral

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thanks for your comments, John Hill and Mark D60! Glad to be back.

Cloudia said...

I enjoyed this Summer road trip, Angel. And am glad to see you again mon ami

Mike said...

YEEEEAAAAAA! You're back. And your front. And your top. And your bottom:). All of you is back.

Now, to the story. Are you Tina? Are you a sign thief?

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

I grew up in an area known as "Dogtown" (Santa Monica / Venice) made famous for being the birthplace and epicenter of the Extreme Skateboarding craze.

Back in my rowdy partying years, the boys and I swiped a few signs. We figured that, as tax-paying people with jobs, we'd paid for the signs ourselves, anyway.

One sign we got from a chain-link fence that ran alongside a golf course on the Santa Monica / Venice border. The sign had an illustration of a dump truck with the red circle and slash through it, superimposed on the image, and it said "NO DUMPING". Naturally, we hung that on the wall right over the toilet.

One night, we also took our own street sign. I still have it to this day:

https://i.imgur.com/mQ293ut.jpg

That was back in the very early 1980s. We weren't really bad, we were just drawn that way.

~ Stephen
STMcC Presents 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS'

Grand Crapaud said...

A great tale to mark your return.

Birgit said...

I had no idea this was a huge thing to do....but it sounds like fun

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thanks for your remarks, dear friends!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I enjoyed the exploit of Big Tina and Tee Boo!

Duckbutt said...

Alabama 69 north of Tuscaloosa to Jasper received a lot of that kind of attention.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Mike, there are two good reasons why I'm not Tina.

Bilbo said...

In Germany, auto license plates start with one, two, or three letters designating the town of registration, followed by one or two random letters, followed by three or four numbers (LL-LL-NNNN). Cars registered in the Bavarian town of Fürth have plates starting with "FÜ." As you can imagine, there is a tourist habit of taking photographs of (at best) or stealing (at worst) Fürth registration plates whose next two letters are "CK."