Getting Healed By a Faith Healer

Jim-Bob, Scooter, and Festus, upon leaving the bar, wandered into a Healing Service that was part of a revival. 

They sat nervously a good while when the Faith Healer suddenly said, "Just open your heart to the Lord, and you will be healed."

They wondered what was going on. Just above them a ray of light shined down directly on them. It spooked them and they started to get nervous. All of a sudden, they heard a voice from the Faith Healer. They all looked at one another and began saying, "What in the Hell is going on?"

The Faith Healer said, "Don't get nervous. I'm not here to scold you, I only want to grant each of you one healing wish."

They all calmed down and Jim-Bob said, "I've been having this crick in the back of my neck for the past ten years and if you were to grant me a healing, that would be it."

The Healer touched Jim-Bob's neck and ole Jim-Bob started moving his neck freely. "I'm good now; praise the Lord! Thank you, thank you," and he sat down.

Scooter stood up next. "You know, that bum leg I've been having for the past five years after falling off the henhouse, you know how bad I limp. If you were to grant me one wish, that would be it."

The Faith Healer waved his hand and Scooter immediately felt the limp leave his leg. "Oh thank you Lord, oh thank you, thank you." Before Scooter could sit down, Festus got up to go.

Both Jim-Bob and Scooter looked behind themselves and saw Festus taking off.

Scooter shouted, "Festus, where you going? The Lord is not here to pass judgment on you, the Faith Healer is just fixin' to heal you. You know that bad back of yours, he can heal it for you right here and now." Festus hollered back, not missing a stride, "No, no, I don't want no healing, I'll lose my disability check."