The Correct Pronunciation of New Orleans

Now that Mardi Gras is past, and the local devout are into Lent, it's time to mention again that there is a correct way to pronounce the largest city in Louisiana but; a number of incorrect ways.

First off, it ain't N'Awlins. God Almighty! That sound is discordant to the ears of the locals. Don't even say that in fun. It is likely to be taken as making fun of Orleanians' accents. Perhaps some Lakeview Yat* or some uptown debutante or some Gentilly good old boy will kick you soundly in the seat for saying that!

Also, don't ever call it New ORLEENZ! Yes, I know; those damned songs use that pronunciation; but it ain't right! N.O. locals tend to roll their eyes.

It's correctly "Way down yonder in New Orlins."

Check this out from Business Insider.




*Like me. I'm a proud Yat.

The Political Campaign

Well, Crazy Chester was finally persuaded by some locals in the city ward to run for the legislature.

Yes, he dropped his scally hat into that charmed circle of pols without the blessing of the local ward heeler. Needless to say, the odd crew at St. Cletus's Parish and the local Baptists found him a breath of fresh air despite his connections with the local underworld. So, with Suzette as his campaign manager, he launched into a vigorous campaign of impromptu speeches at local bars, Knights of Columbus Halls, and the rubber chicken dinners before business groups.

Naturally, he still traded in numbers; this was before the racing season when there was only football and politics going on. People get darned tired of those, and long for something with flavor since the local politicians seem to have sent their mistresses to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi for sun and invisibility from the snooping tabloids.

Actually, Crazy Chester almost dropped out of the race. It happened inadvertently; Crazy Chester dropped into Mass at St. Cletus's' and Father Devereaux gave a sermon on the inadvisability of consorting with bad companions. Now Chester dealt with grifters, numbers-runners, 'gentlemen's club' entertainers, and locoweed sellers on a daily basis; but he wondered if he was crossing that Plimsoll line of moral turpitude. After all, the Louisiana Legislature is not known as a place for choirboys!

He expressed his anxieties regarding his candidacy to Prophetess Madeline; but felt better when he saw her wearing a "You Get Better Odds with Chester."!

  "We know of no spectacle so ridiculous as that of the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality." -- Lord Macaulay

New Orleans gets these fits of morality too; but a few sazeracs are the usual cure.

*Still, the local talent palls when compared to the REAL professionals: Congresspersons.

An Aggie Joke

The professors at A&M were having their weekly staff meeting when one teacher spoke up and said "Do you people realize we have a student here who has been attending classes for over nine years and he still hasn't received a degree?" 

"Why no, we didn't know that.  What can we do? We don't want A&M to get a bad name!"

" I know," one teacher said, "Let's gather all the students at Kyle field and give this guy a pop test. Something simple he can't possibly miss, and then we will hand him his diploma."

The next day everyone was gathered in the stadium. The teacher announced over the PA system, "Now, ponder, if you can answer this question, you will become a graduate of Texas A&M. Okay?"

"Okay," he said. 

"Now take your time and answer this. How much is 3 plus 4?" 

The student was deep in thought for a long period of time. 

Finally he spoke. "The answer is 7!"

The crowd went into an uproar and started hollering, whooping, and chanting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE !"