Kentucky Medical Terms

 They have their own medical vocabulary in the Bluegrass State. Bless their hearts.  

 Benign................What you be after you be eight.
 Artery................The study of paintings.
 Bacteria..............Back door to cafeteria.
 Barium................What family do when kinfolk die.
 Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.
 Cat Scan...............Searching for kitty.
 Cauterize.............Made eye contact with her.
 Coma..................A punctuation mark.
 D and C...............Where Washington is.
 Dilate................To live long.
 Enema.................Not a friend.
 Fibula................A small lie.
 Genital...............Non-Jewish person.
 Hangnail..............What you hang your coat on.
 Impotent..............Distinguished, well known.
 Labor Pain............Getting hurt at work.
 Morbid................A higher offer than I bid.
 Nitrates..............Cheaper than day rates.
 Pap Smear.............A fatherhood test.
 Rectum................Darn near killed him.
 Secretion.............Hiding something.
 Seizure...............Roman emperor.
 Tablet................A small table.
 Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport.
 Tumor.................More than one more.
 Urine.................Opposite of you're out.
 Varicose..............Near by or close by.

A Cajun Blonde Joke

Two brunettes (Clotilde and Marie) and a blonde (Suzette) went to a bar to get themselves a drink.

Clotilde went up to the bar and asked the bartender, " Fix me an R.W." He asks, "What's an R.W.?"

Clotilde said, "Mais chere, dats red wine."

So Marie decided to got herself a drink and asked the bartender, "Fix me a W.W."

The bartender answers, "White Wine?"

She said, "Mais yeah, dats right."

Suzette (the blonde) asked the bartender for a 15.

He replied, "What's a 15?"

She said, "Mais chere, don't be silly. Dat's 7 and 7 of course."

Boudreaux Gets Called for Jury Duty

Boudreaux had received a summons to appear for jury duty.

The judge was doing his preliminary interview of the prospective jurors, and asked them, "Is there any reason any of you could not serve as a juror in this case?"

Boudreaux raised his hand and when the judge acknowledged him said, " Mais, I can't serve, Judge. I don't want to be away from my job dat long."

The judge asked him, "Can't they do without you at work?"

Boudreaux answered, "Yeh, Judge, dey can do without me, but I jus' don't wants dem to know it."

Grand Teche Stages a Charivari

Well, it was totally unexpected: Pierre Meaux and Shirley Baudoin, on a whim, ran off to Mississippi to get married. And by a Justice of the Peace, no less.

The word got out that they were coming back to Grand Teche after this big surprise; and the locals decided that they needed to mark this event with an old-fashioned custom: a charivari. Well, people elsewhere spell it a shivaree; and its pronounced the same and goes pretty well like it.

So the locals got out their bugles, fireworks, washpans, and whistles to serenade the blissful couple until they invited all in to toast the happy bride and groom.

Well, it was about bedtime; and the lights of chez Meaux were gettin' put out and time to get cozy when the noise began. Boom! Bang! Bang! Rattle! Such a din!

Now poor Pierre, he got totally confused. What in hell was going on?

But Shirley got the idea -- the neighbors were treating them to an old-fashioned charivari. No, it wasn't because they were angry; or because the Meauxes violated some regional custom as some sources have it.  It was simply that they were in the hot, steamy dog days of summer and people get bored, you know. . . . And in Grand Teche sometimes people need to make their fun.

Well . . . . fortunately, the local 7-11 store recently launched a special delivery service; and Shirley decided that a few cases of beer, and associated snack foods would do the trick. Neighbors just want to celebrate a wedding in style.

That was a great save! And all due to Tee Thibodaux while manning the cash register made a special hauling of stuff for the impromptu party!

Yee Haw!

A Different Kind of Laboratory?

Laboratories, love them or not. Some, like Physics, are usually tedious; but some, like Biology or Chemistry, can be a real hoot.

Do we have an accompaniment to Vo Ed here; or is this a lesson to support the True Love Waits philosophy?

This is, to say the least, an eye-catching headline. 

Does the staid old Department of Education seems to have a new look with the current administration?