We all have our self-protective areas that we feel put upon when asked questions that we feel are intrusive. These territories of nondisclosure are highly individual; what some people might feel unconcerned about and cheerfully willing to disclose, others are more circumspect. Obviously, self-preservation should preclude revealing anything that could lead to identity theft; but we have our own concepts (or they are aroused upon our being surprised) about what things we don't want to reveal.
It might be religious:
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your LORD?"
"Do you attend church services weekly?"
It might be political:
"Are you a Republican or a Democrat?"
"Are you a liberal or a conservative?"
It might be regarding your body:
"What's your bra size?
"Do you shave or wax down there?"
Or even on matters of taste:
"Honestly, how can you stand to have plastic pink flamingoes on your front lawn?"
"Do you still like The New Kids on the Block now that you're an adult?"
Your finances:
"How's your 401-K?"
"Do you still buy the gas station coffee?"
Or other things:
"Do you check your email daily?"
"Do you floss?"
"Are you regular?"
All of those were real questions. Surely if you were asked, some would be found annoying.
In an age where people seem prone to disclose the slightest details of their lives on Facebook, it seems that maintaining the sense of privacy is on the defensive: it's an outmoded idea.
Or maybe the sense of privacy has just evolved into new ways of being defined. Ashley Dupré, former call girl and former New York Governor Spitzer's friend, who wrote a sex column for the Post, posed for Playboy, and ran a sexy underwear shop in New Jersey, once described herself as "a private person." I commend her reticence.
Ashley must just have a more liberal idea of being a private person than I do, I guess. But what to be sensitive about or what is there surely must in the mind of the perceiver.
It might be religious:
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your LORD?"
"Do you attend church services weekly?"
It might be political:
"Are you a Republican or a Democrat?"
"Are you a liberal or a conservative?"
It might be regarding your body:
"What's your bra size?
"Do you shave or wax down there?"
Or even on matters of taste:
"Honestly, how can you stand to have plastic pink flamingoes on your front lawn?"
"Do you still like The New Kids on the Block now that you're an adult?"
Your finances:
"How's your 401-K?"
"Do you still buy the gas station coffee?"
Or other things:
"Do you check your email daily?"
"Do you floss?"
"Are you regular?"
All of those were real questions. Surely if you were asked, some would be found annoying.
In an age where people seem prone to disclose the slightest details of their lives on Facebook, it seems that maintaining the sense of privacy is on the defensive: it's an outmoded idea.
Or maybe the sense of privacy has just evolved into new ways of being defined. Ashley Dupré, former call girl and former New York Governor Spitzer's friend, who wrote a sex column for the Post, posed for Playboy, and ran a sexy underwear shop in New Jersey, once described herself as "a private person." I commend her reticence.
Ashley must just have a more liberal idea of being a private person than I do, I guess. But what to be sensitive about or what is there surely must in the mind of the perceiver.
- Esse est percipe. Having come up with that insight, would that merit a cute little university city in California being named after me? I guess not. The principle was already spoken for.
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| George Berkeley, the source of that quote. To my knowledge, he was never asked about his bra size or his pink flamingoes. |
I try to make a point of never asking about religion or politics. Write, yes. Ask, no.
ReplyDeleteYou read my posts, therefore they exist! Thanks Angel
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't mind questions of religion or politics. I'd consider finances something I'd not ask about. Nor would I ask young people if they plan on getting married or have kids.
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to see Berkeley think something out of existence.
ReplyDeleteMike, to see if he could dispose of the elephant in the room would be an interesting demonstration!
ReplyDeleteFinances, John? definitely! The 'having kids' question? A big no-no!!!!
Cloudia, I think that your posts have existence independent of the observer.
A story: Dr. Samuel Johnson, who was very choleric, was informed of Bishop Berkeley's views. He stood up, and kicked the table, saying, "Thus I refute him!"
As sound a refutation of subjective idealism as I could think. Who knows? Who owned the furniture that he kicked?
We get the kids question too. I assure all that if we have any he or she would go to Auburn.
ReplyDeleteI would answer all of those to a friend. A stranger or marketer? Not so much. Some are just impolite to ask.
ReplyDeleteAn individual's perceptions aren't everything, but they are the start and basis for everything, at least for each individual's understanding/processing of the world. What would we have without that? That said, most people who think life is an illusion still don't walk in front of buses.
ReplyDeleteAs for answering questions, it depends on who is asking and why. Personally, I ask relatively few questions, letting people reveal what they wish. I find that they still reveal a lot!
It always kind of bugs me when my dentist asks if I floss. Mostly it bugs me because I have admit that I don't do it like I should. Then he always gives me that same lecture about flossing.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
I wear a thong sometimes; so I guess I floss.
ReplyDeleteKathy, that's a new twist on flossing!
ReplyDelete