About 54% of couples who subsequently marry had cohabited before tying the knot. And in college communities, unmarried couples living together is too common, with or without benefits, to warrant comment.
As a consequence, society more or less tends to be less reproachful of those who live together without explicit sanction by either church or state. Even parents, except among the extremely religious, possibly fundamentalist, parents. Even grandparents seem to grudgingly accept this new reality.
Will this result in new social institutions? After all, for a long time society has favored the married state as the ideal; yet it seems to grudgingly accept the reality of a couple (whether two sexed or single sexed) living together without official status by using certain descriptive terms. Now let's see: "live with," "be roomates with," "have relations," "play house," "share an address," "take up housekeeping," "share light housekeeping," "shack up," "live illegally," "live in sin, " and so on. Only the last two carry negative valences.
Well, this is 2014, last time I looked. People are more accepting of this practice. Do you ever remember anyone fined or jailed for fornication? Even the word has an old-fashioned sound to it!
When a couple decides to move in together, they ought to do it in style. Celebrate it with a party, and serve a fine prosecco and cheese. Or maybe a red velvet cake! The male roommate should carry the female roommate across the threshold of the door, to the applause of all! She should, of course, wear a long white dress!
I have a further modest proposal: Develop a simple cohabitation ceremony, where the happy couple exchange apartment or house keys to mark their newly-acquired cohabitation status. Naturally, the father of the female cohabitee could give her away at the ceremony.
And her girl friends could have a lingerie shower for her!
And maybe sympathetic aunts that do needlepoint can make a sampler suitable for hanging in their apartment:
That was outstanding!
ReplyDelete"Shacking up" has a sordidness to it, somehow.
ReplyDeleteOther then the frequent and delicious sex, the lives of a cohabiting couple tend to be quite prosaic.
ReplyDeleteBut what about those who engage in sequential shacking up?
ReplyDeleteI like that term: it makes it sound so daring and carefree!
For many, it's like a test drive marriage without the paperwork.
Benn there. Done that.
To me, it's not a sin, first off.
ReplyDeleteMany people have housewarming parties when they move into an apartment or house. Being married or not has little to do with it.
I really like the idea of going over the top when a couple starts to cohabitate!
ReplyDeleteLingerie showers? How cool!
um, no. part of the beauty of moving in together is to avoid all of that pomp and circumstance.
ReplyDeleteI agree with TexWisGirl on that!
ReplyDeleteMany years ago when I lived in Shreveport, Louisiana, we used to drive to Dallas along I-20. Along the way we'd pass a town called Forney (ZIP Code 75126). I often thought it would be neat to move to Forney and open up a business to supply food and drink and other supplies for parties ... it would be called "Forney Caterers." But after thinking it over, I figured that the more religious East Texas types probably wouldn't support it.
ReplyDeleteCohabiting has a lot to recommend it if you find the right person.
ReplyDeleteIt is a good idea, to have a regular bedmate and not come home with some boozy guy.
ReplyDeleteCohabitation has become a financial necessity for some.
ReplyDeleteTexWisGirl made a good point: weddings have often become encumbered with a lot of costly pomp and circumstances.
ReplyDeleteBilbo, that party business might thrive if it was close to a populous area or was not with a lot of prudes around.
Anemone, you are right.
Juliette, some do.
Mark, I agree: no sin. But it can be fun to pretend that it is.
Now that's a good idea!
ReplyDeleteMotion adopted!
ReplyDeleteAloha
Why not? Great idea!
ReplyDeleteIt can be a problem if you have teen daughters, and you're very vocal during sex.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a bash where everyone is thinking about how often the roommates are going to screw. Just like a wedding.
ReplyDelete