1) They can have no more than 18 characters.
2) They must not be obscene.
3) They must not be a living person's name, unless that person has given signed permission.
4) They cannot advertise a product.
5) They cannot end in 2nd, 3rd, etc.
6) They cannot use abbreviations, and so forth.
Still, there's a wide range of horsy onomastics to consider. Here are a few real horse names that managed to slip by or get approved by the Jockey Club:
EighteenCharacters
Bad Cop No Donut
Dadsalittleunusual
Beer Goggles
Butter Face
Stump Hole
Pants on Fire
Swale*
Going Commando
Girls Got Skill
Papa's Got Gin
Reality Sets In
It's All Lies
Fusaichi Pegasus*
Chateuagay*
Indy Undies
Ross Is a Hoss
Hadtoomuch
Resume Innocense
Barely Legal
Four Bucks N a Doe
No Speed No Feed
Going Commando
OK Topless
You've Been Served
Oneofthebirdboys
We Both Walk
What a Bad Day
Unzippher
Pensive*
Will Run for Gin
My Office Wife
Luv Guv
Walk of Shame
Bodacious Tatas
Turducken
War Admiral*
Nosupeforyou
Cathouse Saint
Breeze the Weasel
The Wages of Sin
Junk in the Trunk
*Kentucky Derby Winner
There's a sense of wonderment that I have about these names: the cost of purchasing, training, and maintaining a thoroughbred horse is $$$; yet some owners come up with these terribly funny or even déclassé names. It would seem to me that a committee of horse-minded tween girls could come up with better names.
I can imagine some horseplayer going up to the pari-mutuel window and saying "Give me $20 on Walk of Shame." Or, even better, the track announcer reporting, "And at the finish, it's Bodacious Tatas by a nipple!"
Giving a horse one of those names labels the owner as a moron.
ReplyDeleteThe name 'Walk of Shame' suggests that the horse will be a slow one. Stupid name, unless the horse is intended for the glue factory.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if any horse was named Place or Show?
ReplyDeletemy fave was nosupeforyou. :)
ReplyDeleteI'll take $20 on Junk in the Trunk.
ReplyDeleteVery cool list of names, I didn't know there were specific rules.
ReplyDeleteEvery year, the Washington Post "Style Invitational" column runs a contest in which they invite readers to take any two horses entered in the Triple Crown races (regardless of sex), mate them, and name the foal, using the Jockey Club guidelines you listed. It's hysterically funny every year. Here's the link to one example: http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-05-02/lifestyle/38974362_1_foal-horses-contest
ReplyDeletenosupefor you was my favorite too. Whose Bodacious Ta Tas were honored in that horse's name?
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the owner's wife or daughter felt about calling the horse Bodacious Ta Tas.
ReplyDeleteBilbo, that site rocked with subtle horsy humor.
ReplyDeleteNosupeforyou I liked too. Bodacious's owners must have an odd sense of humor.
I always feel bad for the horses because of those awful names.
ReplyDeleteFunny and insightful!
ReplyDeleteAloha