When Is It Okay to Wear Yoga Pants?

Yoga pants are seductive - both for the beholder and the wearer. So naturally there is an inertia to wearing them in a variety of additional settings in addition to the gym. Besides, sillies, we know they enhance our butts so nicely! First . . . . why not wear them for the afternoon at home after the workout at the gym . . . . then wear them to the super market when you need something or other.

You know what I mean. Creeping yoga pantsism. Will ladies eventually wear them to church or to court? (A sudder of horror from one in the discussion due to this unbridled informality.)

So this was one of those little dilemmas the ladies of St. Cletus's Parish debated while having their biweekly coffee and beignets. The usual suspects were there: Missy Chauvin, Suzette Picou, Madeline Dupré, Clotilde Badeaux, Marie D'Aquin, and the habitual overcaffeinated crowd of idlers. Well, here's why the matter came up: Father Devereaux gave a sermon on Christian modesty and not being a near occasion for others' impure thoughts and the overscrupulous got to wondering. Hey, maybe the Big Dude looked on those cranberry or black or violet semisheer yoga pants with disapproval. 

To be sure, Madeline earlier had an idea about this; so she asked her boyfriend Officer Pete if her rear view caused any impure thoughts, naively assuming that Pete would tell the truth. He denied it.

Truth to tell, a wise man should never make his woman uncomfortable about what she wears, especially if she looks good wearing it. Don't look for trouble and sulking, he thought.

Well, the discussion went 'round like a dog chasing its tail, which makes a neat metaphor for this sort of moral discussion. Theologians have them too.

Finally, Suzette proposed that we put the matter up for a vote. After all, we had a recent gubernatorial election and had some practice in voting.

Clara asked, "Are we doing it with Plaquemines Parish rules?" Plaquemines Parish is a down-river Parish from Orleans and had been known for voting irregularities in †he past, often from out-of-Parish neer-well-to-dos coming down by steamboat to vote. Nowadays the concept extends to letting anyone vote who happens to be around.

Plaquemines Parish rules were agreed as okay.

Well, although there were six in the group, somehow the official vote tally came out 24-4 in favor of yoga pants not being sinful. Deciding morality by popular vote is cool; especially if you use Plaquemines Parish rules!