Doing the Brackets Without Knowing Basketball

Well, it's bracket time again; and people who don't usually give a flip about basketball start considering how to fill in their brackets for March Madness or The Big Dance, and somebody or other named it in such an outlandish way. Yes, it's NCAA Basketball Tournament time; just midway between the SI Swimsuit Issue and the first game of baseball season. I'll have to admit that I'm in one of those basketball-crazed areas; so I have a little head start. Oh well......

The first thing is to note the teams' seeding numbers; the lower the number, the better the team is judged to be. Most importantly, 16th seeded teams never win; the first round is a breather for the first seeded teams. Anyway, I think that Duke and Kentucky will be in the final game.

Then the fun begins. Second- and third-seeded teams are usually safe bets. But after that, YOYO!

Me, I go with team colors next. Purple and gold or red and white look sharp. Or blue and white. Yes, baby blue and white, especially.

Duke and Kentucky are usually safe bets.  After all, Area Code 606 is basketball and moonshine country.

I never pick No Tree Dame or Ole Miss. Not my style. Teams wearing orange and white look too suspiciously like Dreamsickles to me. 

Red and black? Now this seems to be a color too often associated with sexy lingerie that guys buy women as gifts. Anyway, some Texan team wears those colors. Red and black teams are a good choice, as Stendahl observed.

Whoever chose USC's or Oregon's colors should be kicked for bad taste, or pitied for colorblindness. Protanopia, most likely.

Consider teams' mascots when making your choices. Can you believe teams with nicknames like Gentlemen, Hats, Billikens, Hokies, or Hilltoppers? No, go safe and select teams with forceful names, like Tigers (Yay LSU) or Bulldogs.

For the middle-seeded teams (7th vs. 10th, 8th vs. 9th), just flip a coin. 

And don't cry, Argentina, if some of your picks don't come home to roost. Just don't bet the rent on the NCAA Tournament. It's not like it's soccer.

The bast part of it is hanging around a sports bar on some night in the first weekend. Sorry, one of those nights is a Sunday, so if sports bars are closed on Sunday, just hang around a pizza palace with a t.v. You can believe the wait staff will be glued to the screen. The downside is that the pizza will often be done haphazardly.