Learning How to Become a Cougar

A current buzzword, according to that cultural arbitrer, Time magazine, is cougar; an older woman who romances younger men.  This term may come or go, as is the case with other prominent buzzwords. That great consumer of buzzwords, the typical academic institution of any level, is sure to pick it up like fleas on an unwashed, roaming dog; therefore I was not at all surprised that most with-it and trendy agent of academe, the continuing education system, adopted it like a cute homeless kitten.

Now the metaphor of Woman as Kitten has been around for a long time with such concepts as "sex kitten," someone acting "kittenish," or even the term of endearment "Kitten." (Has anyone ever used the expression, "sex puppy" or "sex lamb"?)  Also, having full-fledged cat status ascribed to you is not a compliment. "Cougar" is a more recent offshoot of that same metaphor: a somewhat older, and equally predatory feline.   There's an insipid television comedy called Cougartown.

Anyway, I recently got one of those flyers through the mail in which the local community college which presented its recent offerings for enrichment of persons' lives. One entry stood out:

Introduction to Cougarhood (3 c.e.u.). This course is intended for thirtyish women and those in their later twenties to prepare for the challenges of being single, yet thirtyish. It is intended to address the psychological, sociocultural, and fashion challenges that confront today's still-young and adventuresome woman. This class will meet for six sessions between 6:00 and 8:00 P.M. on Tuesday and Thursday during the Second Interim Term. Additionally, there will be one field trip between 11:00 P.M. and 12:30 A.M. as the last session, followed by an hour-long discussion.

The following topics will be addressed in this course over the six (6) class sessions:

1. Stalking the wild young man

2. Tentative flirtation techniques

3. Advanced techniques of flirtation

4. Signaling through discreet lingerie tease

5. Hair-flipping, cherry stem-tieing, and other attention-attracting ploys

6. Exercise techniques for figure enhancement

7. Surgical figure-enhancement means

8. Scent analysis: why musk-based scents should be used and citrus scents are to be avoided

9. Make-up strategies

10. When should cosmetic surgery be considered?

11. Subtle seduction techniques

12. Introduction to lassoing men

13. Men to avoid.
 

14.  How to end the one night stand.

15. How to break up with men gracefully (hopefully)


Should I sign up in preparation for later years?  It doesn't sound like a continuing education class where you're likely to meet guys, which is the point of continuing education for most.