Cowgirl Melinda Takes Yoga Classes

In an initiative to obtain fitness among ranch employees, the rancher included a health plan which also included three weekly sessions at the local health club.  Now Melinda, our cowgirl hero, considered herself to be reasonably fit; still, sometimes there are those aches and pains that come as part of outdoor work in Wyoming during the winter.  And seeking alcoholic solace with her friends did not help, either.

Frankly, Melinda was about as sensible about exercise as most Americans: she liked not doing it.  But she was practical; and wanted to keep fit against the unknown future.  After all, there are few desk jobs for cowboys or cowgirls!

So she signed up for Beginning Yoga.  She thought that the yoga costume was okay, if a little conspicuous.  (She would wear panties underneath (many costumes are somewhat see-through) and a windbreaker coming and going from classes.)  And she learned much of the lingo and some of the poses.

First there was the corpse pose.  That was easy.  And downward-facing dog.  And the triangle pose.

One pose that really got her was the plow pose.  Now this pose requires that the person start off, supine, and slowly move her legs upward while still extended.  Next, while the upper part of the body remains on the floor, the lower part and the extended legs are straight up.  Then, the legs are bent back over the chest and head.

Cowgirl Melinda thought, "Oh me; my ass is sticking straight up in the air! What if the guys see me looking like a pretzel?"

It was a critical moment, poor Melinda felt some pressure in her tummy, and she thought, "Maybe I can break wind unobtrusively, and maybe no one will notice . . . ."

Just then, three of the cowboys burst in the room, saw the class with their butts up in the air en masse, and one said, "Wow!  I never saw so many asses since Congress was in session!"

Melinda couldn't help herself; she got the giggles.  And let fly the most amazing and literary fart since Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales!

The Plow Pose