A few months ago I commented on assholes. Not the physical kind that we all have as our shared humanity (the terminus of the alimentary tract), but the unpleasant personality kind. Recently Barry Scott Kaufman reported in Psychology Today a possible reason for their behavior: it's effective. As he put it, direct path to mating success stood out... low agreeableness; the lower the agreeableness, the more sexual partners." In other words, assholes get laid more often.
In terms of psychology, "the 'asshole' consists of the following traits: High Extraversion, Low Neuroticism (perhaps), Low Conscientiousness, Low Agreeableness, High Openness to Experience, and a bit of a dip into the dark triad traits (those with an extreme dark triad profile aren't considered sexually attractive)." The dark triad refers to three personality deficiencies: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy. In effect, these traits define the personality of the horndog.
These fit conveniently into what many women think of as "bad boys." But these women have a somewhat grandiose view of their capacities to inspire improvement; namely that their love and care will reform these errant males. Think of The Taming of the Asshole written by William Shakespeare. (He missed an interesting possible plot here that the groundlings would have enjoyed.) In fact, these women overrate their prospects for transforming these goats into sheep. And, bad boys are fun!
In my opinion, part of the mate-selection or courtship process should include looking for evidences of assholedom, perhaps even setting up situations in which he can play nice, or be expolitative. (Hopefully, not so far as to include winding up in bed together.) If he behaves well, then he's got that thing going. If he acts like a bastard, then run like the dickens. Do not stop! Do not turn back! Look for a nice guy instead.
In terms of psychology, "the 'asshole' consists of the following traits: High Extraversion, Low Neuroticism (perhaps), Low Conscientiousness, Low Agreeableness, High Openness to Experience, and a bit of a dip into the dark triad traits (those with an extreme dark triad profile aren't considered sexually attractive)." The dark triad refers to three personality deficiencies: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy. In effect, these traits define the personality of the horndog.
These fit conveniently into what many women think of as "bad boys." But these women have a somewhat grandiose view of their capacities to inspire improvement; namely that their love and care will reform these errant males. Think of The Taming of the Asshole written by William Shakespeare. (He missed an interesting possible plot here that the groundlings would have enjoyed.) In fact, these women overrate their prospects for transforming these goats into sheep. And, bad boys are fun!
In my opinion, part of the mate-selection or courtship process should include looking for evidences of assholedom, perhaps even setting up situations in which he can play nice, or be expolitative. (Hopefully, not so far as to include winding up in bed together.) If he behaves well, then he's got that thing going. If he acts like a bastard, then run like the dickens. Do not stop! Do not turn back! Look for a nice guy instead.
Good advice! I'm glad the dimensions of assholedom have been isolated. Will douchebaggery be next?
ReplyDeleteTheir failing is thsat they take themselves too seriously and are insensitive to others. They can manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
ReplyDeleteLots of studies that show the ladies marry the nice guy then have affairs with the bad boys.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame that they look so tempting for some guys hat are not good for you.
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