Verlinda, the owner of the Rancid Rabbit, a notorious strip club in Atlanta, had a problem. No, not the usual brawl between intoxicated customers or between one and the bouncer: this one involved several dancers in the dressing room. What was worse, it made the newspapers and got the attention of the A.P.D. and the G.B.I. After separating the pugulistettes and general getting everyone calmed down, she questioned them in detail as to how the brawl came about. After all, Verlinda ran a nice place, and she expected her strippers to act like Southern ladies even though her place was located in that Heart of Darkness: Atlanta.
It turned out that it was over politics: some of her lasses were confirmed Republicans, and some were Democrats; none of which was hesitant to voice her opinion, whether requested or not. This was potentially harmful to business -- but Verlinda was advised by her cut-rate lawyer and pool boy that by summarily forbidding voicing political opinions, she was treading on First Amendment rights! No, that wouldn't do.
So Verlinda did some thinking further, and decided to make a lemonade out of the lemon that she had. Go over the top; and advertise that she had both Republican and Democratic strippers to entertain 'gentlemen' wishing for that form of enlightenment. And, to make it attractive to her staff, she funded them for red or blue stripper outfits, depending on their preference.
She told them, "You gotta have a gimmick." The girls heard that before; and were sorry that she rented the DVD of "Gypsy" so often.
I'm pleased to say that Verlinda's performers really got into the spirit of things, with three of them (one Republican, one Democrat, and one Libertarian filing for the State House of Representatives in their respective districts. They were looked upon by much of the electorate as a breath of fresh air and moral probity; after all, the politician/dancers/strippers promised complete transparency and openness in their management of public affairs! After all, wrestlers, actors, doctors, and even porn star have risen to the civic occasion and served in their own way. Voters can be broad-minded!
It turned out that it was over politics: some of her lasses were confirmed Republicans, and some were Democrats; none of which was hesitant to voice her opinion, whether requested or not. This was potentially harmful to business -- but Verlinda was advised by her cut-rate lawyer and pool boy that by summarily forbidding voicing political opinions, she was treading on First Amendment rights! No, that wouldn't do.
So Verlinda did some thinking further, and decided to make a lemonade out of the lemon that she had. Go over the top; and advertise that she had both Republican and Democratic strippers to entertain 'gentlemen' wishing for that form of enlightenment. And, to make it attractive to her staff, she funded them for red or blue stripper outfits, depending on their preference.
She told them, "You gotta have a gimmick." The girls heard that before; and were sorry that she rented the DVD of "Gypsy" so often.
I'm pleased to say that Verlinda's performers really got into the spirit of things, with three of them (one Republican, one Democrat, and one Libertarian filing for the State House of Representatives in their respective districts. They were looked upon by much of the electorate as a breath of fresh air and moral probity; after all, the politician/dancers/strippers promised complete transparency and openness in their management of public affairs! After all, wrestlers, actors, doctors, and even porn star have risen to the civic occasion and served in their own way. Voters can be broad-minded!
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| Rachel must get her Republican rest; conserving her energies for the Federal Program-Slashing Dance |
I read something recently where most single women are democrats until the marry rich guys when the instantly turn republican.
ReplyDeleteYou know, strippers have more credibility than politicians. I think that's a good idea.
ReplyDeleteWould you go to watch Newt Gingrich strip? Or Joe Biden? Or Michael Moore?
I'm sorry.........that last one was uncalled for!
Mike, there may be some truth there.
ReplyDeleteElvis, I agree that strippers have more credibility and are better liked than politicians.
Lighten up, Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the weirdest and most original blog I've ever seen. That's meant as a compliment.
ReplyDeleteThe Boobie Bungalow up in Elkton, Tennessee has mostly red state strippers.
ReplyDeleteVoters can be broad-minded, indeed! And "Government Ecdysiast Services Provider"?? I can see my tax dollars hard at work here. I'd vote for Verlinda any day.
ReplyDeleteCalm down, Anon.
ReplyDeleteKing, thank you!
Elvis, I've seen their billboards on I-65. Thanks for the info.
Bilbo, sometimes government programs work.
You pretty much reduced politics to sex. Not a bad conclusion.
ReplyDelete