I was simply minding my business at the mall, and longing for a cup of latte, when I was verily set upon by a horde of reporters who demanded "what does Generation Y think of, blah, blah." Gee, I didn't know we had a name. And who appointed me spokesperson? Maybe they sent word by e-mail and I misjudged it to be spam. Anyway, what a grave responsibility! Having no space to run away as might be prudent, I tried to answer as best as I could in self-defense.
Here's my dialogue with my media public. All eight of them. Scary folks, they were, even without Helen Thomas.
As a member of Generation Y, what do you think of the economy? Uh, what does Y stand for?
What are you doing? I'm staying out of the rain.
Are all of you so ironic? No, we prefer wash and wear.
What do you think of Governor Perry running for President? Uh, we're in North Carolina. We don't get to vote in California.
Oh, a social nihilist? No, actually, I'm an ex-cheerleader.
Is there significance to your costume? No, today's wash day, and this was all that I had left to wear.
Do you see a dreary future? Oh, of course.
Are you referring to impending wars, or economic drepressions, or plagues? No, I don't have a date yet for Friday night.
What is currently on your mind? I need new pantyhose.
Who speaks for your generation? Lady Gaga. [Not really; but that answer is guaranteed to shake up any uptight thirties-something. They need their knickers twisted in a knot on occasion.]
How do you see the state of society? Oh, it's pretty good. We need better t.v. reality programs.
What do you think of television news? I watch Stephen Colbert regularly. It gives me a religious experience, and there's no collection plate.
What do you think of Kobe? That's the best type of beef you can get at a Japanese steak house.
What are your plans for the future? I think the Bee Gees said it well: "Staying Alive."
Which U.S. Presidential Candidate is best suitable for your ideals? The guy that, you know . . . . .
Here's my dialogue with my media public. All eight of them. Scary folks, they were, even without Helen Thomas.
As a member of Generation Y, what do you think of the economy? Uh, what does Y stand for?
What are you doing? I'm staying out of the rain.
Are all of you so ironic? No, we prefer wash and wear.
What do you think of Governor Perry running for President? Uh, we're in North Carolina. We don't get to vote in California.
Oh, a social nihilist? No, actually, I'm an ex-cheerleader.
Is there significance to your costume? No, today's wash day, and this was all that I had left to wear.
Do you see a dreary future? Oh, of course.
Are you referring to impending wars, or economic drepressions, or plagues? No, I don't have a date yet for Friday night.
What is currently on your mind? I need new pantyhose.
Who speaks for your generation? Lady Gaga. [Not really; but that answer is guaranteed to shake up any uptight thirties-something. They need their knickers twisted in a knot on occasion.]
How do you see the state of society? Oh, it's pretty good. We need better t.v. reality programs.
What do you think of television news? I watch Stephen Colbert regularly. It gives me a religious experience, and there's no collection plate.
What do you think of Kobe? That's the best type of beef you can get at a Japanese steak house.
What are your plans for the future? I think the Bee Gees said it well: "Staying Alive."
Which U.S. Presidential Candidate is best suitable for your ideals? The guy that, you know . . . . .
I would cringe at being put up as the spokesperson for my generation.
ReplyDeleteSince when does Generation Y have ideals?
ReplyDeleteNo boob-flashing by Nancy?
ReplyDeleteElvis: Nancy who?
ReplyDeleteAnon: I missed that memo.
Ironic? No, wash and wear. Classic!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are not enamored of any of them.
ReplyDeleteBilbo: A zinger!
ReplyDeleteFull Cup: I'm not.